Category: Blog

Friday Focus – 12/22/17 {Thoughts As Creation & Being Guided}

It’s about that time…. I can just feel the energy in the air as people are busily getting ready for Christmas. The last minute gift shopping, picking up dessert for Eve’s dinner, and so much laughter everywhere!

This week’s Friday Focus is going to be a bit random, but oh so important. There are two ideas that stood out for me over the course of this past week and I’ll dive right into them:

  1. Your thoughts as creation. According to the first Law of Thermodynamics, the energy of our Universe can neither be created or destroyed, but can manipulate its form (i.e., water to ice, fire as heat, etc.). So how does this relate to our thoughts? If even our thoughts are considered as energy then we have a direct correlation to patterns and behaviors (manipulated energy form) that have culminated in the past few years to lead us to where we are today. Pretty powerful isn’t it? Our thoughts have brought us to exactly where we are today! Whether that is good or bad is beyond the point, the point is we have the power of today to direct our thoughts toward a future we want. So tell me, what is it that you want?
  2. Being guided. Have you ever felt a nudge, an inquiry even, about a particular “thing” but never followed through on it until a later time only to realize it was exactly what you needed? Whether it was to apply to that company, pick up that book, call that acupuncturist, etc.? I call that guidance. Whether it’s from outside influences, your subconscious, your higher self, God, you name it… your guidance system is showing you the way at all times, and how wonderfully comforting is that? Now if only we can get quiet enough to hear the call… 🙂

Pretty epic am I right? Now to flip the switch – what recurring themes or ideas stood out for you this week? I’ve found that since starting Friday Focus it’s been a wonderful way to recap big themes and close out the week. I’d love to hear if there’s been anything on your mind in particular!

With that said, have a wonderful, long, joyous weekend leading up to Christmas. May you be filled with immense joy, peace, and love no matter who you are with and where you are in the world.

In cheer,

Susan

Photo by Robert Lukeman on Unsplash

How Your Focus Can Change Everything

We all have heard the phrase, what you focus on expands. But really, have you noticed the true effects of this phenomenon?

For example, you eat dinner alone because your partner has a work event. It wasn’t as fun or even satiating, and as you begin washing the dishes all you can think about is, “Well I ate dinner but it wasn’t that good, in fact, it didn’t even feel like a real dinner!”, and as you continue to wash the dishes you find yourself in a not so positive state. Funny thing is, if you keep focusing on that all you’ll end up doing is munching on one snack after another thinking it will satisfy you but oftentimes than not it never does!

Instead, what if you focused on thoughts that elevate you? “I have all this free time maybe I’ll take a bubble bath and light some candles” or “I think I’ll make some hot cocoa and finally pick up that book I’ve been meaning to read!”.

Notice the difference?

All of a sudden the food was just energy your body needed and you can now focus on what makes you feel good!

It’s all about focus.

Here’s another example. Let’s say you’re in the dating scene and It’s been one mismatch after another. Instead of focusing on that, what if you focused on the fact that one day this adventure will lead to a significant life partner (and a couple of funny stories to tell too!)

So remember, what you focus on is what you’re going to get. After all, there must have been a reason you stumbled upon this website and made it to the end of this post am I right?

Focus on the transformation; focus on the good just a little bit more and watch the magic unfold.

“By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience—even the comfort in a single breath—you’ll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure.”

~Rick Hanson

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

How I Cured Severe PMS

I’ve debated for as long as my writings have submerged whether or not I wanted to divulge this part of my life. Not because it’s personal, but because the “cure” didn’t come in the form of a person or special herbal supplement. The cure was actually something so simple yet required a miracle mindset to achieve.

Let me start from the beginning.

For as long as I could remember I had debilitating PMS symptoms. From intense cravings, bloating up to 5-7 pounds in water weight, irritability, intense emotions, and this was the clincher for me – depression.

Like clockwork every 2 weeks I would dread the 14 day mark where these symptoms would arrive and drive me crazy until the 3rd day into my menstrual cycle. I began tracking every period so that I can brace myself and prepare for the 2 weeks out of every month (that’s 6 months of the year by the way) where I would need to mentally strap myself in for the ride.

Researching cures was a part time job. During every break and bedtime reading it was reading the latest scientific research on which herbal supplement, exercise, hormone treatment might possibly be the cure for me. I was searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… and the Unicorn.

I tried visiting multiple doctors and every emerging biohack that existed, and while I saw incremental changes it was nothing compared to the peace I so deeply desired.

Birth control pills were out of the question. I tried it once and cried for no reason in public and it wasn’t until my mother asked if I made any changes to my supplement regimen that I realized it was the pill that wasn’t working for me.

How to cure PMS naturally

What truly helped was getting in tune with my body. The first time I ever realized this was when I went gluten free after having done an elimination diet when I first started Crossfit. Going gluten free was a game changer. No longer did I have the debilitating cramps that kept me popping ibuprofen and staying in bed! However, this was short lived as I still encountered many of the other symptoms that equally drove me crazy.

Fast forward several years I remember being curled up in a ball and fervently praying to God, the Universe, anyone that would listen. I prayed that I be at peace… for my mind was driving me insane.

Just thinking about the next 14 days was driving me crazy. You see, I was perpetually in a state of being a slave to the thought. A puppet to the PMS gods.

I prayed out of desperation because none of my strategies were working and I didn’t have any more cards up my sleeve to even consider.

I prayed to see things differently. Ultimately, I just prayed for peace. I remember distinctly saying, “I don’t even care if I continue on with these symptoms, I just need the peace.”

In complete and utter surrender I fell asleep and the next morning I decided to walk 4 miles to city center instead of taking the bus. In that moment I realized I was in a different state. I remember to this day that if even an inkling of a PMS related thought (or any negative thought for that matter) crossed my mind I just decided, “Nope, not going to think about that right now.” and I moved on.

And fast forward another few years later – still NO PMS SYMPTOMS. None, nada, zilch, nothing.

I remember in all my 20s saying to God, “If you cure me of this I swear I’ll write a blog post about what happened.”. So here I am fulfilling my promise.

And I can almost hear the disappointment because I of all people very well know by no means is this a sexy cure all. I know first hand how desperately satisfying and exciting it is to have someone say, “I tried X product with X person and my disease is completely gone! I am loving life now!”.

But I need to be completely honest of my own experience – it was what worked for me.

If someone would have told me this story in my early 20s I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Yea, lucky you but that isn’t going to work for me.”.

It wasn’t until years later after becoming an Integrative Life Coach (and years of studying various modalities related to neuroscience) that I realized what I did on my own is an actual thing.

You see, we are playing a movie in our minds eye all the time and what we see is a mere reflection of what we think. We can be at peace right away, symptoms or not, because it isn’t the PMS that is causing us our suffering it is our thought about it.

I just simply changed my thought.

We have become so accustomed to believing our thought is fact when really it’s just a thought. It takes a mental meta-model to truly see the nuances but it can be done. Why do you think mindfulness has made it so big? It’s achieving the same goal of separating thought from fact.

And I get it. It’s not the sexiest cure; but I also understand it’s individual timing. It’s trusting the journey in where you are. It’s the willingness to see things differently and sometimes that willingness only appears when you are so desperate.

Truly this was the moment where I experienced a miracle. I mean, if someone told me I wouldn’t have anymore PMS symptoms the next day I don’t know if I would have believed it.

Again, this was the moment I realized just how powerful our brains truly are.

Were the symptoms real? Of course. But it makes me question (and thus launched me deep into the research of the brain) and why I became an Integrative Life Coach, just how much of the symptoms were caused by the power of my own thoughts vs. my body?

I’ll say it again, through years of my own research I have come to learn that thoughts cause emotions, not the other way around. HOW we look at life, our very own perspective and belief systems, are the very basis of how we will experience life!

This is the true work of personal power. Understanding our very own foundation allows us to become the strong pillars we so desperately seek in our lives.

So whether it is PMS or some other patterned thought/behavior – just recognize that there is possibility in making your experience of the situation completely different.

On that note, I bow deeply to anyone reading this post going through PMS or any other similar situation… your strength, courage, and determination does not go unnoticed.

In deep wellness,

Susan

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Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

Loving The Contrast

When we’re in the muck… you know, the parts of our lives where we want to ignore, numb, or just wish time would speed up so we can get to the happy bits, is a place I’ve learned to honor and cherish (cherish seems to be a theme this week!).

You see, I call this part of our lives Contrast.

Why have I come to love Contrast so much? Oh, let me explain the ways… 🙂

Contrast is when we feel something other than at our center, our true, deepest self. When we feel any form of emotion that is other than Love, say, fear, anxiety, anger, depression, etc., this is an opportunity for Transformation.

I’m not saying we just skip all the work and tell ourselves, “I’m now in a place of Love and everything is ok!, no, far from it. But, when we can become aware of the Contrast and truly thank it, we can now do the work to understand where transformation is needed.

It’s much harder to ignore, push away, numb, or be in denial of what we are truly feeling deep down in our state of Contrast. Wait harder? YES. No one tells us that the fastest and easiest way to rise above Contrast is to go through it!

When we come to terms and are willing to do the work, we are entering into a state of deep transformation. We are saying Yes to the deeper part of ourselves that wants to be seen and loved.

Can you name a time when a situation or emotion presented itself over and over again, yet you just pushed it away hoping it wouldn’t come back?

I wish someone had told me in my teens and 20s; unfrotunately, the situation and/or emotion always came back, and now, I thank the Contrast for allowing myself to open up to deep and radical transformation so that I can do the work now.

And on that note, how much better does that feel energetically?! Rather than pushing it away, doesn’t stepping into it provide a much higher vibrational state? A curiosity even?

While there is the nuances of timing, readiness, and willingness that may need consideration, the next time you find yourself in Contrast try looking at it with curiosity… you never know what deep truth is waiting for you.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Caleb George on Unsplash

Dreamwork: The Recurring Dream

Unbeknownst to me I’ve been having a recurring dream on and off in a span of a couple of weeks. So how do I know this? Well, somehow in my meditative state this morning I became aware of this recurring dream… and it’s meaning.

First, let me tell you about this dream. Like almost ALL dreams this one is particularly odd 😉 I seem to be running, whether on a treadmill or out on the natural pavement, but every time my left foot hits the hard surface of the ground I notice that the heel edge of the shoe is crinkled from having stepped on it so many times and I am struggling to make sure that with each step I am trying to jam my foot back into the shoe so that it is secure and doesn’t fall off! As you can see, this gets QUITE frustrating…

There’s no conclusion to the dream, just the constant anxiety and pressure to ensure the shoe doesn’t fall off!

Well, guess what? As soon as I became aware of the dream I realized it’s meaning!

It’s all about LETTING GO.

How many times do we try to make something work on our own, OR believe this one way is the only way?

To me, this dream symbolized a few simple, yet deep truths.

  1. I’m reminded that the struggle comes in trying to do it all ourselves. Oftentimes we feel alone in our endeavors and/or our thoughts. We begin to believe we truly are alone and that no one could truly “get” us and our thoughts furthering ourselves from seeking friendship and true understanding of the human experience.
  2. Furthermore, I’m reminded that when we try to control every aspect of the situation in order to get to an expected outcome, this keeps us in a state of suffering and panic. Why? Because there is no way we can control anything outside of us. This includes events, and yes, other human beings.
  3. Lastly, I’m reminded that when we try so hard to achieve the thing we think we want, the desire keeps us in a state of suffering. Will we get it? No one knows. Are we enjoying the journey? Certainly not!

It’s funny, I hadn’t even realized I was having this dream and yet, when I became aware of the dream I instantly became aware of it’s true message. And what a relief!

We all go through moments where we need the reminder, the pep talk, the simple loving touch to remind us of WHO WE REALLY ARE AT OUR ESSENCE. After all, what truly matters in this thing we call life?

I cherish and honor these simple remembrances of what it truly means to be alive, and to awaken me from my shift in perspective so that at the end of the day, I can truly live from a heart of divine love and presence.

May we all cherish the reminders.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Seth Macey on Unsplash

Oneness

“It’s always about Oneness or Separation”

~Kristin Hanggi

When you open your closed heart, that’s when life begins.

Photo by Ricardo

Friday Focus – 12/15/17 {Our Relationship To Emotions & Ways to Center}

It’s officially the middle of the month guys… are you taking advantage of every moment? Drinking in the last few days of 2017?!

I know for certain I have had a few moments this past week where I am caught up in the busy-ness of the day to day, but thankfully yoga and meditation brings me back to center.

What are your day to day staples that help you bring you to your center?

No really, do you have something that can help you calm the thoughts? the emotions? the discomfort of being in your body at times?

Oftentimes we forget that it’s OK to have the emotion but what’s actually causing the suffering is our RELATIONSHIP to the emotion which causes angst and incredible pain.

That’s where the practice of silent quality time with yourself can come in handy. Whether you have a practice already or not, I thought I’d list a couple here. Personally I have found it helpful to switch it up at times.

Ways to Center

And the list goes on! The point here is to give you a breath of inspiration OR allow yourself to pivot from any of the ideas above so that you can creatively find new ways to center.

This practice is powerful and if you already have a personal practice you know what I’m talking about. They’re a life saver 😉

So, if there’s one thing I can emphasize for this week’s Friday Focus it’s this – it’s not our emotions, it’s our relationship to the emotion that causes the suffering.

Here’s to finding more ways to find our center and a new awareness of our relationship to our thoughts and emotions.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash

Beliefs

They say, you practice an emotional state ’til it becomes a neural trait.

~Melissa Tiers

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Letting Go Of Mental Shaming

I see a lot of mental shaming that goes on when people can’t seem to make a desired change. Particularly when they don’t understand why all of their efforts and mental willpower doesn’t lead to enact permanent change.

First of all, don’t judge yourself. That is the worst thing you can do in this type of situation. Why? Because it’s not your fault. And trust me, I’ve been there myself where I used to judge and blame myself for failing multiple times in trying to change behavior.

You see, somewhere deep down in your unconscious mind there is still a limiting belief (aka Fear) holding you back. So no matter how hard you try or consciously believe you want the change, there’s still some work involved in trying to get your unconscious to believe it.

Aside from actual behavior, another way we know we are running old belief systems is by taking a closer look at our body. Our bodies store a lot of this hidden emotion; more than we can ever truly know. Try to think of one specific goal you’ve been trying to work on for the past few months or even years. Now, take a moment to be honest and ask yourself, “what event or trigger prevents me from going the last mile?”. You’ll often notice that when you recall a specific moment your body is also reacting to the limiting belief. Whether it tenses up, becomes anxious, angry, etc. your body is only reacting to a running belief system.

Now for the good news: whether you get to the underlying belief system or not is not nearly as important as this one fact – you have the power to change.

As I’ve mentioned before, making permanent change requires you to understand and pinpoint specific moments where desired change should happen and change your response by changing your state. If old belief systems were running our outcomes then it requires a NEW belief system to make new outcomes. What do you need or want to believe so that you don’t run up against the same wall over and over again? How do you need to feel in order to overcome the block? These are just a few key questions you can ask yourself to get started.

Now, having said that though also requires a bit of faith and surrender. After all, if we can’t surrender and/or aren’t willing to see things differently where is the room to consider possibilities? Change? Hope? Where is the room to learn, grow, and be open to greater magic to unfold?

And of course on that note…

Sometimes, surrendering and knowing this is where you need to be for where you are is good enough.

Sometimes, what we need is more compassion and time for the dust to settle.

And sometimes, that is more than good enough.

So be kind to yourself. Trust the process and know when you are ready you have all that you need to make positive change happen. Last but not least, lean in to surrender and faith. Don’t be too tied to a specific outcome. After all, who knows what the Universe might give you instead? 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash