Category: Truths

Starting With Inquiry

I wanted to talk today about the power of inquiry.

Have you ever noticed that when you begin with inquiry people pay attention? And when this inquiry is self directed, you begin to pay attention as well?

Typical statements, commentary, and self talk is, well, just that – typical. It’s expected and it’s on auto pilot. So much so that it becomes habituated. Even the responses become habituated!

But when we start by inquiring, “the beginner’s mind”, as it is known in Zen Buddhist traditions, we are met with qualities such as awe, curiosity, and wonder. And this positive resonance has a deep impact in how we approach the very thing we are dealing with, whether in the outside world or our very own inside world.

Inquiry allows for possibility.

To inquire means there is a curiosity in getting to know something or someone. It means you are open to learning. And this is beautiful.

When we approach with inquiry we are more open than ever. We begin to see things we never would have seen. We begin to feel things we never would have felt.

As an experiment, try it today! Whether it is with a difficult emotion you are encountering or headed into work and seeing old & new co-workers, start with inquiry. See what comes up before your brain goes on auto-pilot. Ask yourself:

  • What’s new here?
  • Why am I feeling this way?
  • Why am I thinking this way?
  • What can I learn from this?
  • Is there anything else I can learn from this?
  • With assumption X, can I know this to be absolutely true? (ref, Byron Katie)

And watch what happens. Observe the response, and even in the response inquire even more.

You see, when we inquire we not only allow for possibilities and higher resonating qualities within us, we are, as a byproduct, being mindful of what is in front of us as well as what actually arises.

Here’s to a bit more inquiry in our lives and seeing what newness unfolds.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Cody Davis on Unsplash

 

Following The Emotional Breadcrumb

Oftentimes it’s easy to run away from our emotions. In this day and age, it’s almost too easy to numb out.

Whether that’s picking up the phone and checking Instagram or Facebook, reaching for the bag of chips, or turning on Netflix and binge watch a whole season of GOT. The options are a many.

And while it may seem scary to actually face the demons, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do in order to see what’s really under the covers.

Remember when you were a little kid and you ran into your parent’s bedroom saying you couldn’t sleep because there was a monster under the bed, or maybe in the closet? Then your parents (or heck, maybe you even did it yourself!) would walk you back into the room and lift the covers or open the closet? There was nothing there and you faced your demons, the so called monster.

Facing our emotions takes work, but it’s the work we must do in order to integrate ourselves fully.

When we turn toward our emotions and follow the breadcrumbs of this feeling and that feeling, we begin peeling the layers of the onion and truly understanding ourselves on a deeper level. We may discover the true reason for our emotion was actually something completely different than the situation itself! We may even discover a limiting belief causing such pain on an conscious level.

Can we trust and love ourselves during this time? Can we maybe turn side ways the first time and gently feel into it so that next time we can turn the whole way into the depths of our emotions?

And no matter the answer – may we trust and love, just a little more, where we are in this moment.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

When You’re Lost In The Knowing

Whether you’ve been dabbling in the field of personal development for a while or whether you’re new, it becomes incredibly empowering to learn new techniques and frameworks to help make sense of ourselves and our lives. And when we practice these techniques and frameworks, our lives literally can make a 180 degree turn. How amazing is that?

However, there will come a time, possibly many, where given the knowledge and resources we have we may feel we already know the answer, yet, we don’t see a shift in the situation or our emotions.

This is when we, as I like to call it, get lost in the knowing.

Suddenly we’ve become involved in our own story. We’re so deep into wearing the detective hat, that we’ve lost our way in the vortex of our very own knowing.

Ironic isn’t it?

When this happens, I always invite myself and others to ask, “What can I learn here? What is this situation teaching me?”. Or as Matt Khan so passionately says about any situation, “Thank you for teaching me.”

When we step out of the control and into surrender, there is grace; there is self compassion. And suddenly we ease into the situation as opposed to trying to conquer the situation. Quite different isn’t it? 😉

No matter what you’re going through, just remember… this grace is precious, and it’s in each and every one of us.

 

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/19/18 {The Photographer’s Lens}

Photography is very big in my life. I love capturing the beautiful soul I see during portrait sessions, and particularly love the special family moments, the in between as I like to call it, during family sessions. While I don’t do nearly as many sessions as I used to years ago, I still love it when old clients ask for updated photos.

Earlier this week I was noticing how, as humans, it’s incredibly easy to focus on the minutiae. Our focus tends to be on ONE thing, and when I say ONE thing, it’s hyper focused on that subject and moves on to the next when we feel like we’ve resolved (aka controlled) it in some way or another.

And I thought to myself, what if we zoomed out?

How much of this precious life, this day, this landscape are we missing by zooming in? What if we took a step back (for those of you that are used to primes) and saw the bigger picture? Just how much meaning of the bigger picture does this “one” thing end up having?

Oftentimes we forget. We forget how much grandeur, mystery, beauty, and synchronicity there is to life.

We forget just how much beauty there is everywhere, including our own selves.

Can we zoom out today? And begin to appreciate the bigger picture? What other beautiful mysteries might we be missing?

I hope we find out.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Alvaro Araujo Alcalde on Unsplash

The Placebo Effect & The Power Of The Mind

Placebos. Do you believe them?

Regardless of the validity of placebos, this post on the New York Times shed some incredible light on the power of the mind. And it made me think and affirm, truly how powerful is our mind?

This is how powerful: we can see a different reality just by changing our emotional state. Have you ever felt depressed or downright angry, then you hear good news and suddenly it’s as if you couldn’t remember why or how such a thing could have caused you to be so depressed or angry?

Our minds are powerful. Beliefs are powerful.

Placebos aside, the general idea around what you choose to believe in (therefore allowing yourself to feel good or bad depending on choice) is certainly something to inquire.

I’ve written on this before and have seen it come down to this time and time again – if our actions and reactions are like branches of a tree, then our core beliefs running the direction of these branches are the roots of the tree. What underlying, fundamental beliefs about you and your life are running the show on an unconscious level?

The beauty in all this is choice. After awareness, reconciliation, and practice, we have the choice to build a better life. And guess what? We’re beautiful humans, so this means we have the rest of our lives to constantly grow and shine brighter each and every day.

After all, it’s the journey right?

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash

You Must Desire Change For Change To Take Place

I admit – I’m a podcast junkie. Wait, I’m an information junkie.

Anytime there’s a car ride somewhere I’m most likely listening to a podcast, expanding my perspective and knowledge on anything from biographies, entrepreneurship, spirituality, yoga, marketing, and so much more. And in my spare time reading on any of the mentioned topics as well!

The other day I was listening to a talk on marketing and they were explaining techniques on how to grab a potential client’s attention in order to get in front of them, especially in this day and age where people’s attention are so limited (or so that is how time is perceived).

While I understood where and how this technique can be useful, in my line of work I realized this particular technique only works if one thing is already present… and that is – the person’s utmost desire to change and whether they have an open mind.

At the end of the day the person themselves must desire the change so much they see all and each of their endeavors & experiments as a step toward the change they seek.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it takes persuasion or the right words to instigate the change but the core desire must come from within. That way even if the product or service did not work 100% the outcome is a learning mechanism or viewed as a positive experience due to its other tangential benefits.

Before I close the post I wanted to touch on one of these tangential benefits – serendipity, fate, or how your life can change completely, whatever you want to call it, it’s happened to me many times. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was intrigued and fascinated at how our minds can be so malleable. How in the right circumstance, time, and moment our entire perspective on life can shift. This was the power of NLP and I wanted to learn more.

So I went down the path of reading and listening to all things NLP. However, being the type of person I am I wanted to learn directly from someone who has a greater knowledge and depth around this subject rather than trying to piece meal information together on my own. I needed to learn how it worked and why.

I found someone who I thought would be perfect.

Fast forward some time later, I quickly realized I needed more. It wasn’t enough.

Long story short, I eventually found someone who would then recommend me to their teacher and my mind was BLOWN.

You see, sometimes you need to follow the breadcrumbs. Was I slightly disappointed by the first experience? Sure. But I remember thanking the experience. I remember telling myself that there had to have been a reason and that something later on would confirm this was meant to be.

And I was right. Had I not encountered that first experience I would have never met people who would become good friends in the industry nor would I have gone truly deep enough to incorporate this life changing modality into my own work.

I still continue to immerse myself in the world of NLP. #nerdalert

So there you have it. True desire for change must come from within in order for change to take place. It will be this deep knowing that allows you to know whether or not you’ve made the change or to thank the experience and look for what it is you need.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Between Breaths

there are times

when we stop.

we sit still…

we listen

&

breezes

from a whole

other world…

begin to whisper.

~james carroll

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Mike Enerio on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/12/18 {The Glasses We Wear}

I’ve been thinking about the glasses we wear during different moments of our lives. And no, I don’t mean reading glasses… I’m talking about the metaphoric glasses we wear on a constant basis. The glasses we wear the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

These glasses are what filters the world for what our brain ends up seeing, and it all begins with YOU.

Oftentimes we feel or think a certain way (our glasses) the moment we wake up, and we mistake this to be “just who we are” or because of our recent situation in our lives.

Contrary to what you might believe, it doesn’t stem from an outside situation or a sense that you believe you are the way you are (especially if you desire to feel and experience something differently!).

YOU get to decide which glasses you want to wear!

For example, while there are plenty of moments we need to be more serious, analytical, and diagnostic, we often lose track and forget to have fun with life! We forget to take the glasses off.

If you resonate with the above example ask yourself these questions:

From what moment do I begin to feel serious? How often do I play and test with life or even my ideas? Am I putting too much pressure on myself to make everything perfect and not allowing things to magically unfold? Can I look at a situation with lightness and realize we are here to truly live from our hearts and experience joy?

This week’s theme is all around the glasses we wear, and I implore you to ask yourself, “What are the glasses I wear 80% of the time? What do I want to feel more of? What glasses do I need to wear to feel said quality?”, and practice visualizing yourself waking up (or throughout the day) wearing the glasses you need. After all, you never know what you just might be missing…

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Matheus Vinicius on Unsplash