Category: Uplevel

How Your Focus Can Change Everything

We all have heard the phrase, what you focus on expands. But really, have you noticed the true effects of this phenomenon?

For example, you eat dinner alone because your partner has a work event. It wasn’t as fun or even satiating, and as you begin washing the dishes all you can think about is, “Well I ate dinner but it wasn’t that good, in fact, it didn’t even feel like a real dinner!”, and as you continue to wash the dishes you find yourself in a not so positive state. Funny thing is, if you keep focusing on that all you’ll end up doing is munching on one snack after another thinking it will satisfy you but oftentimes than not it never does!

Instead, what if you focused on thoughts that elevate you? “I have all this free time maybe I’ll take a bubble bath and light some candles” or “I think I’ll make some hot cocoa and finally pick up that book I’ve been meaning to read!”.

Notice the difference?

All of a sudden the food was just energy your body needed and you can now focus on what makes you feel good!

It’s all about focus.

Here’s another example. Let’s say you’re in the dating scene and It’s been one mismatch after another. Instead of focusing on that, what if you focused on the fact that one day this adventure will lead to a significant life partner (and a couple of funny stories to tell too!)

So remember, what you focus on is what you’re going to get. After all, there must have been a reason you stumbled upon this website and made it to the end of this post am I right?

Focus on the transformation; focus on the good just a little bit more and watch the magic unfold.

“By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience—even the comfort in a single breath—you’ll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure.”

~Rick Hanson

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

Loving The Contrast

When we’re in the muck… you know, the parts of our lives where we want to ignore, numb, or just wish time would speed up so we can get to the happy bits, is a place I’ve learned to honor and cherish (cherish seems to be a theme this week!).

You see, I call this part of our lives Contrast.

Why have I come to love Contrast so much? Oh, let me explain the ways… 🙂

Contrast is when we feel something other than at our center, our true, deepest self. When we feel any form of emotion that is other than Love, say, fear, anxiety, anger, depression, etc., this is an opportunity for Transformation.

I’m not saying we just skip all the work and tell ourselves, “I’m now in a place of Love and everything is ok!, no, far from it. But, when we can become aware of the Contrast and truly thank it, we can now do the work to understand where transformation is needed.

It’s much harder to ignore, push away, numb, or be in denial of what we are truly feeling deep down in our state of Contrast. Wait harder? YES. No one tells us that the fastest and easiest way to rise above Contrast is to go through it!

When we come to terms and are willing to do the work, we are entering into a state of deep transformation. We are saying Yes to the deeper part of ourselves that wants to be seen and loved.

Can you name a time when a situation or emotion presented itself over and over again, yet you just pushed it away hoping it wouldn’t come back?

I wish someone had told me in my teens and 20s; unfrotunately, the situation and/or emotion always came back, and now, I thank the Contrast for allowing myself to open up to deep and radical transformation so that I can do the work now.

And on that note, how much better does that feel energetically?! Rather than pushing it away, doesn’t stepping into it provide a much higher vibrational state? A curiosity even?

While there is the nuances of timing, readiness, and willingness that may need consideration, the next time you find yourself in Contrast try looking at it with curiosity… you never know what deep truth is waiting for you.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Caleb George on Unsplash

Oneness

“It’s always about Oneness or Separation”

~Kristin Hanggi

When you open your closed heart, that’s when life begins.

Photo by Ricardo

Friday Focus – 12/15/17 {Our Relationship To Emotions & Ways to Center}

It’s officially the middle of the month guys… are you taking advantage of every moment? Drinking in the last few days of 2017?!

I know for certain I have had a few moments this past week where I am caught up in the busy-ness of the day to day, but thankfully yoga and meditation brings me back to center.

What are your day to day staples that help you bring you to your center?

No really, do you have something that can help you calm the thoughts? the emotions? the discomfort of being in your body at times?

Oftentimes we forget that it’s OK to have the emotion but what’s actually causing the suffering is our RELATIONSHIP to the emotion which causes angst and incredible pain.

That’s where the practice of silent quality time with yourself can come in handy. Whether you have a practice already or not, I thought I’d list a couple here. Personally I have found it helpful to switch it up at times.

Ways to Center

And the list goes on! The point here is to give you a breath of inspiration OR allow yourself to pivot from any of the ideas above so that you can creatively find new ways to center.

This practice is powerful and if you already have a personal practice you know what I’m talking about. They’re a life saver 😉

So, if there’s one thing I can emphasize for this week’s Friday Focus it’s this – it’s not our emotions, it’s our relationship to the emotion that causes the suffering.

Here’s to finding more ways to find our center and a new awareness of our relationship to our thoughts and emotions.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash

Beliefs

They say, you practice an emotional state ’til it becomes a neural trait.

~Melissa Tiers

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Letting Go Of Mental Shaming

I see a lot of mental shaming that goes on when people can’t seem to make a desired change. Particularly when they don’t understand why all of their efforts and mental willpower doesn’t lead to enact permanent change.

First of all, don’t judge yourself. That is the worst thing you can do in this type of situation. Why? Because it’s not your fault. And trust me, I’ve been there myself where I used to judge and blame myself for failing multiple times in trying to change behavior.

You see, somewhere deep down in your unconscious mind there is still a limiting belief (aka Fear) holding you back. So no matter how hard you try or consciously believe you want the change, there’s still some work involved in trying to get your unconscious to believe it.

Aside from actual behavior, another way we know we are running old belief systems is by taking a closer look at our body. Our bodies store a lot of this hidden emotion; more than we can ever truly know. Try to think of one specific goal you’ve been trying to work on for the past few months or even years. Now, take a moment to be honest and ask yourself, “what event or trigger prevents me from going the last mile?”. You’ll often notice that when you recall a specific moment your body is also reacting to the limiting belief. Whether it tenses up, becomes anxious, angry, etc. your body is only reacting to a running belief system.

Now for the good news: whether you get to the underlying belief system or not is not nearly as important as this one fact – you have the power to change.

As I’ve mentioned before, making permanent change requires you to understand and pinpoint specific moments where desired change should happen and change your response by changing your state. If old belief systems were running our outcomes then it requires a NEW belief system to make new outcomes. What do you need or want to believe so that you don’t run up against the same wall over and over again? How do you need to feel in order to overcome the block? These are just a few key questions you can ask yourself to get started.

Now, having said that though also requires a bit of faith and surrender. After all, if we can’t surrender and/or aren’t willing to see things differently where is the room to consider possibilities? Change? Hope? Where is the room to learn, grow, and be open to greater magic to unfold?

And of course on that note…

Sometimes, surrendering and knowing this is where you need to be for where you are is good enough.

Sometimes, what we need is more compassion and time for the dust to settle.

And sometimes, that is more than good enough.

So be kind to yourself. Trust the process and know when you are ready you have all that you need to make positive change happen. Last but not least, lean in to surrender and faith. Don’t be too tied to a specific outcome. After all, who knows what the Universe might give you instead? 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 12/8/17 {Cherishing The Moments}

Seattle has been absolutely gorgeous this past week, and I hear it’s going to stay this way until next week. This makes my heart skip a beat. If you’ve ever spent a non-rainy day in Seattle you know very well what this might feel like. The fresh, crisp, cool air, the warmth of the sun on your face, clear blue skies, outlined by the evergreens and the cascades everywhere you look. It’s pretty much perfection! Don’t get me wrong, the rainy days can be just as cozy… but as they say you can’t take the sun out of the girl. 😉

Lately, I’ve been cherishing every moment. Finding the good in every moment. Each time I let the pup out in the morning I take a BIG gulp of fresh air. I feel the coolness of the air come into my throat, down my lungs, all the way through to the back of my heart. Then I open my eyes and stare up at the huge evergreen in my backyard and thank God for this moment. I end this small moment in time by standing in awe of what is truly in front of my eyes.

What makes these days even more precious is knowing that these are the last few days of 2017!

I don’t know about you guys but I am all about making each and every moment count; which by the way reminds me of a truly great article by Tim Urban who so eloquently put our time into perspective.

No matter how stressed I am, when I take a moment to truly appreciate our time I am left with immense gratitude. After all, it’s perspective, and a question we can ask ourselves right now is, what lens am I wearing today?

As we approach the end of the year things can get hectic, reallllly hectic. So for this week’s Friday Focus it’s all about cherishing the moments. How can we stay in wonder and gratitude throughout the day? What small, minute moments can we cherish and love knowing this moment is all we have right now?

Here’s to another sun filled weekend, and may we appreciate the stillness that is always present.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Zhifei Zhou on Unsplash

How You React Reflects Your Core Beliefs

Have you ever said one thing but noticed your actions never followed through? Or maybe your body didn’t feel as relaxed or calm as your voice did?

One easy way to know whether your words match your core beliefs is to notice your reactions.

How you REACT is a deep reflection of your CORE BELIEFS.

“She doesn’t bother me anymore” – Yet you feel tense and angry inside

“My fear of big dogs is completely gone” – Yet your body tenses up just a bit every time you see a big dog

“I can’t wait to see you next week!” – Yet your stomach drops and you don’t feel elation like you would a really good friend

“I’m really exited about this new job” – Yet, you don’t feel good deep inside your heart

These are only a few examples but it’s enough to get the gist of the pull quote above. How are you reacting and does your body language and emotions align?

Take a moment to think about one thing you want to happen in your life. Whether that’s to date more people, find that new job, finally get over someone, start a new diet, whatever it is, take a moment to name one thing you are so sure that you want and have wanted for a really long time now.

You have it? Ok, write it down as an affirmation. An example would be, “I have a soul charged career and work with people I love to see every day.”

Once you’ve written your affirmation down, say it out loud. Declare it.

How did that feel in your body? What emotions came up for you? Is there a feeling of doubt? Did you cringe? Did you feel a bit defeated? Or did you feel a smile on your face? Elation? Belief? Trust?

If you felt more of the first category of emotions don’t fret. The point here is not to be disappointed about this, it’s to get excited about it! Yes, excited! Why? Because now you have a clue as to why your deeper, subconscious self doesn’t believe the statement you read aloud.

Take some time to do some pattern recognition work. Look back at the times in your life where you tried to make this change, but ultimately change never happened. In what ways did you sabotage yourself? What are some core limiting beliefs you had in the past that prevented you from following through on the change?

The best way to do this reflection is automatic writing or free flow writing. Get out a note pad, journal and a pen and start writing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to write yet, just begin writing! Repeat the same word over and over again until something flows.

Another way to do this is to write a letter to God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self and then write a response back as if God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self were writing you back. You would be surprised at how easily the answer comes.

You see, the answer is always within us. It doesn’t matter what modality you use, just find the one that works for you.

Throughout these processes you will begin to realize a few core limiting beliefs have been holding you back. Typically these core limiting beliefs sound something like:

  • There’s no such thing as a career I love for me out there
  • I don’t think big dogs can truly be nice or I must attract the scary big dogs
  • I can’t seem to handle anxious emotions very well

Whatever your core limiting belief is you will notice it right away once it begins to come to light, and THIS is what needs to be worked on before change can happen.

Typically, if you are truly ready to break the limiting belief, once you’ve identified what those are for you, you might notice your mind already working and shifting toward positive change. If not, don’t worry, now that you know what your core limiting beliefs are you can work with a trusted friend to create accountability, do some research, listen to podcasts, or reach out to resources such as a therapist or life coach.

This should be exciting and I hope you begin to feel the work of change growing inside you. Once you’re truly ready for change you’ll begin noticing open doors and little hints here and there… follow them.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash