Tag: Change Work

You Must Desire Change For Change To Take Place

I admit – I’m a podcast junkie. Wait, I’m an information junkie.

Anytime there’s a car ride somewhere I’m most likely listening to a podcast, expanding my perspective and knowledge on anything from biographies, entrepreneurship, spirituality, yoga, marketing, and so much more. And in my spare time reading on any of the mentioned topics as well!

The other day I was listening to a talk on marketing and they were explaining techniques on how to grab a potential client’s attention in order to get in front of them, especially in this day and age where people’s attention are so limited (or so that is how time is perceived).

While I understood where and how this technique can be useful, in my line of work I realized this particular technique only works if one thing is already present… and that is – the person’s utmost desire to change and whether they have an open mind.

At the end of the day the person themselves must desire the change so much they see all and each of their endeavors & experiments as a step toward the change they seek.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it takes persuasion or the right words to instigate the change but the core desire must come from within. That way even if the product or service did not work 100% the outcome is a learning mechanism or viewed as a positive experience due to its other tangential benefits.

Before I close the post I wanted to touch on one of these tangential benefits – serendipity, fate, or how your life can change completely, whatever you want to call it, it’s happened to me many times. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was intrigued and fascinated at how our minds can be so malleable. How in the right circumstance, time, and moment our entire perspective on life can shift. This was the power of NLP and I wanted to learn more.

So I went down the path of reading and listening to all things NLP. However, being the type of person I am I wanted to learn directly from someone who has a greater knowledge and depth around this subject rather than trying to piece meal information together on my own. I needed to learn how it worked and why.

I found someone who I thought would be perfect.

Fast forward some time later, I quickly realized I needed more. It wasn’t enough.

Long story short, I eventually found someone who would then recommend me to their teacher and my mind was BLOWN.

You see, sometimes you need to follow the breadcrumbs. Was I slightly disappointed by the first experience? Sure. But I remember thanking the experience. I remember telling myself that there had to have been a reason and that something later on would confirm this was meant to be.

And I was right. Had I not encountered that first experience I would have never met people who would become good friends in the industry nor would I have gone truly deep enough to incorporate this life changing modality into my own work.

I still continue to immerse myself in the world of NLP. #nerdalert

So there you have it. True desire for change must come from within in order for change to take place. It will be this deep knowing that allows you to know whether or not you’ve made the change or to thank the experience and look for what it is you need.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

How Does Your Life Reflect Your Beliefs?

“All that we are is the result of our thoughts.”

~Buddha

If our life is a culmination of actions and reactions we took upon ourselves, where are we now and do we like it?

If not, can we take an honest assessment of what we don’t like about our life and inspect what actions and/or reactions led us here? What was the underlying belief (or lack of) that initiated certain actions and reactions?

When we do the work to understand our self, we can begin to understand what needs to be changed and whether or not we are ready and willing to make that change.

This is how true desired change can occur. Most people desire change all the time and it’s beautiful how as humans we get to experience desire! However, without first understanding our self we cannot get to true desired change nor can we know whether or not this desire is good for us.

So here’s to doing the work and understanding ourselves at the deepest level so that we may up-level our lives for our highest good.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Miguel Salgado on Unsplash

Letting Go Of Mental Shaming

I see a lot of mental shaming that goes on when people can’t seem to make a desired change. Particularly when they don’t understand why all of their efforts and mental willpower doesn’t lead to enact permanent change.

First of all, don’t judge yourself. That is the worst thing you can do in this type of situation. Why? Because it’s not your fault. And trust me, I’ve been there myself where I used to judge and blame myself for failing multiple times in trying to change behavior.

You see, somewhere deep down in your unconscious mind there is still a limiting belief (aka Fear) holding you back. So no matter how hard you try or consciously believe you want the change, there’s still some work involved in trying to get your unconscious to believe it.

Aside from actual behavior, another way we know we are running old belief systems is by taking a closer look at our body. Our bodies store a lot of this hidden emotion; more than we can ever truly know. Try to think of one specific goal you’ve been trying to work on for the past few months or even years. Now, take a moment to be honest and ask yourself, “what event or trigger prevents me from going the last mile?”. You’ll often notice that when you recall a specific moment your body is also reacting to the limiting belief. Whether it tenses up, becomes anxious, angry, etc. your body is only reacting to a running belief system.

Now for the good news: whether you get to the underlying belief system or not is not nearly as important as this one fact – you have the power to change.

As I’ve mentioned before, making permanent change requires you to understand and pinpoint specific moments where desired change should happen and change your response by changing your state. If old belief systems were running our outcomes then it requires a NEW belief system to make new outcomes. What do you need or want to believe so that you don’t run up against the same wall over and over again? How do you need to feel in order to overcome the block? These are just a few key questions you can ask yourself to get started.

Now, having said that though also requires a bit of faith and surrender. After all, if we can’t surrender and/or aren’t willing to see things differently where is the room to consider possibilities? Change? Hope? Where is the room to learn, grow, and be open to greater magic to unfold?

And of course on that note…

Sometimes, surrendering and knowing this is where you need to be for where you are is good enough.

Sometimes, what we need is more compassion and time for the dust to settle.

And sometimes, that is more than good enough.

So be kind to yourself. Trust the process and know when you are ready you have all that you need to make positive change happen. Last but not least, lean in to surrender and faith. Don’t be too tied to a specific outcome. After all, who knows what the Universe might give you instead? 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

How You React Reflects Your Core Beliefs

Have you ever said one thing but noticed your actions never followed through? Or maybe your body didn’t feel as relaxed or calm as your voice did?

One easy way to know whether your words match your core beliefs is to notice your reactions.

How you REACT is a deep reflection of your CORE BELIEFS.

“She doesn’t bother me anymore” – Yet you feel tense and angry inside

“My fear of big dogs is completely gone” – Yet your body tenses up just a bit every time you see a big dog

“I can’t wait to see you next week!” – Yet your stomach drops and you don’t feel elation like you would a really good friend

“I’m really exited about this new job” – Yet, you don’t feel good deep inside your heart

These are only a few examples but it’s enough to get the gist of the pull quote above. How are you reacting and does your body language and emotions align?

Take a moment to think about one thing you want to happen in your life. Whether that’s to date more people, find that new job, finally get over someone, start a new diet, whatever it is, take a moment to name one thing you are so sure that you want and have wanted for a really long time now.

You have it? Ok, write it down as an affirmation. An example would be, “I have a soul charged career and work with people I love to see every day.”

Once you’ve written your affirmation down, say it out loud. Declare it.

How did that feel in your body? What emotions came up for you? Is there a feeling of doubt? Did you cringe? Did you feel a bit defeated? Or did you feel a smile on your face? Elation? Belief? Trust?

If you felt more of the first category of emotions don’t fret. The point here is not to be disappointed about this, it’s to get excited about it! Yes, excited! Why? Because now you have a clue as to why your deeper, subconscious self doesn’t believe the statement you read aloud.

Take some time to do some pattern recognition work. Look back at the times in your life where you tried to make this change, but ultimately change never happened. In what ways did you sabotage yourself? What are some core limiting beliefs you had in the past that prevented you from following through on the change?

The best way to do this reflection is automatic writing or free flow writing. Get out a note pad, journal and a pen and start writing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to write yet, just begin writing! Repeat the same word over and over again until something flows.

Another way to do this is to write a letter to God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self and then write a response back as if God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self were writing you back. You would be surprised at how easily the answer comes.

You see, the answer is always within us. It doesn’t matter what modality you use, just find the one that works for you.

Throughout these processes you will begin to realize a few core limiting beliefs have been holding you back. Typically these core limiting beliefs sound something like:

  • There’s no such thing as a career I love for me out there
  • I don’t think big dogs can truly be nice or I must attract the scary big dogs
  • I can’t seem to handle anxious emotions very well

Whatever your core limiting belief is you will notice it right away once it begins to come to light, and THIS is what needs to be worked on before change can happen.

Typically, if you are truly ready to break the limiting belief, once you’ve identified what those are for you, you might notice your mind already working and shifting toward positive change. If not, don’t worry, now that you know what your core limiting beliefs are you can work with a trusted friend to create accountability, do some research, listen to podcasts, or reach out to resources such as a therapist or life coach.

This should be exciting and I hope you begin to feel the work of change growing inside you. Once you’re truly ready for change you’ll begin noticing open doors and little hints here and there… follow them.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 12/1/17 {Living With Complacency Or Finally Making CHANGE!}

I am beyond excited about a couple of things. For one, it’s DECEMBER. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like it was the holidays just yet. But something hit me yesterday… maybe it was all the neighborhood decorations, the overall mood of this city, or sitting at Starbucks reading Peter Levine’s Trauma and Memory while Christmas music was playing in the background. Either way, I am FEELING IT and excited to give this last month of 2017 100%.

Second of all, it’s Friday Focus and today – I wanted to talk about something that I have been feeling passionate about ALL WEEK. Clearly I have a lot of passion in general these days given the number of CAPS I’ve been using so far in this post 😉

Ok, so for this week’s Friday Focus I wanted to talk about PATTERNS.

Yes, I write about patterns – a lot. But what I want to drive home today, especially since a lot of people will be reflecting on this past year and working on New Year resolutions, is the idea around pattern recognition and why change ensues (or doesn’t).

Can we for one moment have a come to Jesus moment about our patterns? It’s one thing to say, “Oh yea, I kind of do that don’t I?” and grin at your friend, it’s a complete other thing when you actually recognize the pattern and the EFFECT it has on your life and most importantly the outcome.

Which outcome, or area in your life are you unsatisfied with? You see it every single year and yet, no change. Why? No really, WHY?

Scrutinize your patterns. There is an underlying emotion that is prohibiting you from stepping forward and making progress. Did you know that?

Often times, we say we want to make change in our lives and yet, we know deep, deep down we won’t do anything about it. And to be honest, that’s ok.

You see, we have to be completely READY for change to actually happen. No matter how hard you consciously try, if your subconscious doesn’t believe you, then unfortunately change won’t happen.

I actually LOVE telling people this because it’s the wakeup call that everyone needs to hear to A) either come to peace with the complacency and stop the mental shaming or B) grit their teeth and believe it to their bones that they are actually ready for CHANGE.

Isn’t that empowering? I mean, either way…. Now the power is truly in your hands!

Ok, this was sort of a love rant because I truly do care. I mean hey, we’ve all been there where we wanted to see change in one area of our life but couldn’t figure out why. This is one big hint as to why that might be the case!

When you have a moment to reflect, jot down the patterns. See where you are held up, where things aren’t flowing, and try to understand yourself a little more. It’s the one small step toward change you can make today before understanding the type of change agent you need to seek 💗

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

 

Approval & Acceptance

Approval and acceptance. It’s such a hard thing to get away from isn’t it?

When you are going about your daily life or making key decisions (that ultimately will change the direction of your life) ask yourself this question: if you need these two from anyone other than yourself to make you “ok” or “happy” are you ready for the roller coaster? And by roller coaster I mean the worst one you can possibly imagine!

Just remember this one thing: to need approval or acceptance from anyone implies there is lack, but how can that be when you’re already perfect?

Once you have accepted this and are willing to change, fundamentally, how you look at approval and acceptance, has begun to change; pat yourself on the back. That is half the battle. However, understanding how human nature and psychology works this new belief now needs to be set in the brain. You must set new patterns to break old ones.

Just as you practiced the old beliefs around approval and acceptance you must practice the new, positive, truer belief around approval and acceptance.

Just remember that change is possible and you are already perfect.

Namaste.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

~Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Gives you the shivers doesn’t it?

So I ask again, who are you not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? What are the limiting beliefs (and therefore illusory truths) that are holding you back?

Take a moment and take inventory of each decision during the course of a day. Imagine these decisions as branches of a tree; where are these branches stemming from? What is the basis (beliefs) of these decisions and how deep do those roots go?

Remember, change can happen but it takes work. Knowing how to catch the beliefs is half the battle and everyone, yes everyone, is capable of creating this change.

In the meantime I implore you to ask yourself two questions today:

  • How are you playing big today?
  • What is one small step you can take toward your true self?

In wellness,

Susan