You Must Desire Change For Change To Take Place

I admit – I’m a podcast junkie. Wait, I’m an information junkie.

Anytime there’s a car ride somewhere I’m most likely listening to a podcast, expanding my perspective and knowledge on anything from biographies, entrepreneurship, spirituality, yoga, marketing, and so much more. And in my spare time reading on any of the mentioned topics as well!

The other day I was listening to a talk on marketing and they were explaining techniques on how to grab a potential client’s attention in order to get in front of them, especially in this day and age where people’s attention are so limited (or so that is how time is perceived).

While I understood where and how this technique can be useful, in my line of work I realized this particular technique only works if one thing is already present… and that is – the person’s utmost desire to change and whether they have an open mind.

At the end of the day the person themselves must desire the change so much they see all and each of their endeavors & experiments as a step toward the change they seek.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it takes persuasion or the right words to instigate the change but the core desire must come from within. That way even if the product or service did not work 100% the outcome is a learning mechanism or viewed as a positive experience due to its other tangential benefits.

Before I close the post I wanted to touch on one of these tangential benefits – serendipity, fate, or how your life can change completely, whatever you want to call it, it’s happened to me many times. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was intrigued and fascinated at how our minds can be so malleable. How in the right circumstance, time, and moment our entire perspective on life can shift. This was the power of NLP and I wanted to learn more.

So I went down the path of reading and listening to all things NLP. However, being the type of person I am I wanted to learn directly from someone who has a greater knowledge and depth around this subject rather than trying to piece meal information together on my own. I needed to learn how it worked and why.

I found someone who I thought would be perfect.

Fast forward some time later, I quickly realized I needed more. It wasn’t enough.

Long story short, I eventually found someone who would then recommend me to their teacher and my mind was BLOWN.

You see, sometimes you need to follow the breadcrumbs. Was I slightly disappointed by the first experience? Sure. But I remember thanking the experience. I remember telling myself that there had to have been a reason and that something later on would confirm this was meant to be.

And I was right. Had I not encountered that first experience I would have never met people who would become good friends in the industry nor would I have gone truly deep enough to incorporate this life changing modality into my own work.

I still continue to immerse myself in the world of NLP. #nerdalert

So there you have it. True desire for change must come from within in order for change to take place. It will be this deep knowing that allows you to know whether or not you’ve made the change or to thank the experience and look for what it is you need.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/12/18 {The Glasses We Wear}

I’ve been thinking about the glasses we wear during different moments of our lives. And no, I don’t mean reading glasses… I’m talking about the metaphoric glasses we wear on a constant basis. The glasses we wear the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

These glasses are what filters the world for what our brain ends up seeing, and it all begins with YOU.

Oftentimes we feel or think a certain way (our glasses) the moment we wake up, and we mistake this to be “just who we are” or because of our recent situation in our lives.

Contrary to what you might believe, it doesn’t stem from an outside situation or a sense that you believe you are the way you are (especially if you desire to feel and experience something differently!).

YOU get to decide which glasses you want to wear!

For example, while there are plenty of moments we need to be more serious, analytical, and diagnostic, we often lose track and forget to have fun with life! We forget to take the glasses off.

If you resonate with the above example ask yourself these questions:

From what moment do I begin to feel serious? How often do I play and test with life or even my ideas? Am I putting too much pressure on myself to make everything perfect and not allowing things to magically unfold? Can I look at a situation with lightness and realize we are here to truly live from our hearts and experience joy?

This week’s theme is all around the glasses we wear, and I implore you to ask yourself, “What are the glasses I wear 80% of the time? What do I want to feel more of? What glasses do I need to wear to feel said quality?”, and practice visualizing yourself waking up (or throughout the day) wearing the glasses you need. After all, you never know what you just might be missing…

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Matheus Vinicius on Unsplash

What You Believe You See

“The liberation of your mind comes from the following principle: reality always depends on how you perceive it. Learn to perceive it more usefully and your life will transform.”

~Owen Fitzpatrick

In wellness,

Susan

Image by Steve Coffey

How Does Your Life Reflect Your Beliefs?

“All that we are is the result of our thoughts.”

~Buddha

If our life is a culmination of actions and reactions we took upon ourselves, where are we now and do we like it?

If not, can we take an honest assessment of what we don’t like about our life and inspect what actions and/or reactions led us here? What was the underlying belief (or lack of) that initiated certain actions and reactions?

When we do the work to understand our self, we can begin to understand what needs to be changed and whether or not we are ready and willing to make that change.

This is how true desired change can occur. Most people desire change all the time and it’s beautiful how as humans we get to experience desire! However, without first understanding our self we cannot get to true desired change nor can we know whether or not this desire is good for us.

So here’s to doing the work and understanding ourselves at the deepest level so that we may up-level our lives for our highest good.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Miguel Salgado on Unsplash

A Seattle Community of Sisterhood

For the past 6 months I have felt a deep calling to create community, a sisterhood, here in Seattle.

This deep desire would grow then fade depending on how many projects I had going on as well as managing my travel schedule. One big deterrent from starting this community was location; I had no idea what 2018 would look like and would ask myself questions such as, “Would it even be worth it to me or others not knowing whether Life would take me outside of Seattle in 2018?”.

Until earlier this month (December), I knew deep down that this desire was calling and it wouldn’t stop.

The need to guide, connect, and be the Seer for anyone who needed it was a strong enough risk for me to take.

And I know deep down I would be the one who’s heart is filled and brimming with gratitude and love at everyone’s willingness, honesty, and own respect for their journey and desire for connection.

So with that said, be on the look out for more details! I’ll be creating an official channel via MeetUp where I will post 1:1 coaching session dates, Moon Circles, community gatherings, and much more.

I can’t wait to connect.

In community,

Susan

Photo by Cristina Cerda on Unsplash

Oneness

“It’s always about Oneness or Separation”

~Kristin Hanggi

When you open your closed heart, that’s when life begins.

Photo by Ricardo

Letting Go Of Mental Shaming

I see a lot of mental shaming that goes on when people can’t seem to make a desired change. Particularly when they don’t understand why all of their efforts and mental willpower doesn’t lead to enact permanent change.

First of all, don’t judge yourself. That is the worst thing you can do in this type of situation. Why? Because it’s not your fault. And trust me, I’ve been there myself where I used to judge and blame myself for failing multiple times in trying to change behavior.

You see, somewhere deep down in your unconscious mind there is still a limiting belief (aka Fear) holding you back. So no matter how hard you try or consciously believe you want the change, there’s still some work involved in trying to get your unconscious to believe it.

Aside from actual behavior, another way we know we are running old belief systems is by taking a closer look at our body. Our bodies store a lot of this hidden emotion; more than we can ever truly know. Try to think of one specific goal you’ve been trying to work on for the past few months or even years. Now, take a moment to be honest and ask yourself, “what event or trigger prevents me from going the last mile?”. You’ll often notice that when you recall a specific moment your body is also reacting to the limiting belief. Whether it tenses up, becomes anxious, angry, etc. your body is only reacting to a running belief system.

Now for the good news: whether you get to the underlying belief system or not is not nearly as important as this one fact – you have the power to change.

As I’ve mentioned before, making permanent change requires you to understand and pinpoint specific moments where desired change should happen and change your response by changing your state. If old belief systems were running our outcomes then it requires a NEW belief system to make new outcomes. What do you need or want to believe so that you don’t run up against the same wall over and over again? How do you need to feel in order to overcome the block? These are just a few key questions you can ask yourself to get started.

Now, having said that though also requires a bit of faith and surrender. After all, if we can’t surrender and/or aren’t willing to see things differently where is the room to consider possibilities? Change? Hope? Where is the room to learn, grow, and be open to greater magic to unfold?

And of course on that note…

Sometimes, surrendering and knowing this is where you need to be for where you are is good enough.

Sometimes, what we need is more compassion and time for the dust to settle.

And sometimes, that is more than good enough.

So be kind to yourself. Trust the process and know when you are ready you have all that you need to make positive change happen. Last but not least, lean in to surrender and faith. Don’t be too tied to a specific outcome. After all, who knows what the Universe might give you instead? 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 12/1/17 {Living With Complacency Or Finally Making CHANGE!}

I am beyond excited about a couple of things. For one, it’s DECEMBER. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like it was the holidays just yet. But something hit me yesterday… maybe it was all the neighborhood decorations, the overall mood of this city, or sitting at Starbucks reading Peter Levine’s Trauma and Memory while Christmas music was playing in the background. Either way, I am FEELING IT and excited to give this last month of 2017 100%.

Second of all, it’s Friday Focus and today – I wanted to talk about something that I have been feeling passionate about ALL WEEK. Clearly I have a lot of passion in general these days given the number of CAPS I’ve been using so far in this post 😉

Ok, so for this week’s Friday Focus I wanted to talk about PATTERNS.

Yes, I write about patterns – a lot. But what I want to drive home today, especially since a lot of people will be reflecting on this past year and working on New Year resolutions, is the idea around pattern recognition and why change ensues (or doesn’t).

Can we for one moment have a come to Jesus moment about our patterns? It’s one thing to say, “Oh yea, I kind of do that don’t I?” and grin at your friend, it’s a complete other thing when you actually recognize the pattern and the EFFECT it has on your life and most importantly the outcome.

Which outcome, or area in your life are you unsatisfied with? You see it every single year and yet, no change. Why? No really, WHY?

Scrutinize your patterns. There is an underlying emotion that is prohibiting you from stepping forward and making progress. Did you know that?

Often times, we say we want to make change in our lives and yet, we know deep, deep down we won’t do anything about it. And to be honest, that’s ok.

You see, we have to be completely READY for change to actually happen. No matter how hard you consciously try, if your subconscious doesn’t believe you, then unfortunately change won’t happen.

I actually LOVE telling people this because it’s the wakeup call that everyone needs to hear to A) either come to peace with the complacency and stop the mental shaming or B) grit their teeth and believe it to their bones that they are actually ready for CHANGE.

Isn’t that empowering? I mean, either way…. Now the power is truly in your hands!

Ok, this was sort of a love rant because I truly do care. I mean hey, we’ve all been there where we wanted to see change in one area of our life but couldn’t figure out why. This is one big hint as to why that might be the case!

When you have a moment to reflect, jot down the patterns. See where you are held up, where things aren’t flowing, and try to understand yourself a little more. It’s the one small step toward change you can make today before understanding the type of change agent you need to seek 💗

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

 

Are You Giving Away Your Power?

Are you? Are you aware of how often you give away your very own power? Are you aware that your power is limitless and no matter how empty you feel, you can feel on top of the world in an instant?

When we aren’t conscious about it, we give away our power in so. many. ways.

Case in point:

  • Someone is rude to you and you feel offended. I mean, how could they?!
  • You’re trying to make a coffee order and the server treats you halfheartedly while smiling enthusiastically at someone else. Really?
  • The customer service rep doesn’t seem to respect your situation. I can’t even…
  • Your boss/client says something in passing and you can’t seem to stop thinking about what they said. What’s wrong with me? Am I a failure?
  • It’s a month into your new diet and the scale doesn’t seem to agree. Why do I feel like a loser?
  • A beautiful, young woman seems to have everything going for her while you happen to be in your rumpy old work out clothes. Don’t go there, don’t go there…

While these may not all apply to you, the point of the examples above was to reflect the ways in which we give away our power so easily. To others, to objects, and yes, even that small anxious voice in our very own heads.

The first step in harnessing our own power is simple yet requires training and discipline.

It’s self realization.

Have you actually tried to count the ways you give away your power in a single day. I bet you’d be surprised at what comes up 😉

Try it! Set an alarm each hour and track the moments of the past 60 minutes in which you felt annoyed, depressed, stressed, or worried. At the end of the day, you may notice an overarching theme or two… or three.

You see, most of the “why’s” in which we give away our power stems from old beliefs or anchored fears. What do I mean by that? Here are a few examples:

  • I’m never good enough
  • People don’t respect me
  • What if I don’t make it?
  • I’m not loveable
  • I’m emotionally weak
  • I appear to be too powerful
  • People don’t listen to me
  • I get sick too easily
  • People always seem to leave me
  • I’m “fat” or I’m “too skinny”

This list can go on forever… that’s how smart and powerful our minds are. If we aren’t careful we can be chasing this wild rabbit for YEARS.

I can’t tell you enough how many people begin to expand their own awareness once they realize what their overarching themes are.

Once you realize what old beliefs and anchored fears are holding you back you begin to step OUT of the story and IN to your own power.

For the most deeply rooted fears and limiting beliefs there are several techniques that can be used to help offset the years of patterned behavior which I hope to write about soon. But for now, try the 24 hour journal. Get to know your self in a way that will change your life forever.

In wellness,

Susan