Tag: Emotions

emotional management coach, adrenal fatigue and burnout coach

It’s OK To Be Sad

How long should you feel sad?

Too many times I see people outsmarting their way out of sadness.

Adrenal Fatigue and Burnout Coach, Emotional Management Coach

They understand they don’t “need” to feel sad but their bodies are saying, “yes, you do”.

And that’s where the argument begins.

When your body isn’t aligned with what you think, suddenly there’s resistance.

And what does resistance bring?

Suffering. Unnecessary stress.

While there comes a point where we begin to indulge in apathy and should look toward the future, without properly processing emotions and thoughts you will only continue to bring the past into the present.

So what needs to happen?

Feel it. All of it.

Let every tear roll…

Let the ache in your throat and heart expand.

And listen.

Listen to what your body is trying to tell you.

Need more comfort?

A day off?

More tea?

More…. love?

Only you have the answer within, but how will you ever know if you don’t stop to listen?

So if you’re going through a rough patch… no matter how big or small…

… give yourself some grace.

Love yourself a little harder,

because it’s all going to be just fine.

You are already just fine.

In wellness,

Susan

 

Seattle Stress Management Coach

What To Do When You Feel Massive Resistance

We all have massive resistance to what pushes our buttons… especially when it comes to those hard emotions.

Today, I’m sharing a little story and what to do when this comes up.

In wellness,

Susan

Following The Emotional Breadcrumb

Oftentimes it’s easy to run away from our emotions. In this day and age, it’s almost too easy to numb out.

Whether that’s picking up the phone and checking Instagram or Facebook, reaching for the bag of chips, or turning on Netflix and binge watch a whole season of GOT. The options are a many.

And while it may seem scary to actually face the demons, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do in order to see what’s really under the covers.

Remember when you were a little kid and you ran into your parent’s bedroom saying you couldn’t sleep because there was a monster under the bed, or maybe in the closet? Then your parents (or heck, maybe you even did it yourself!) would walk you back into the room and lift the covers or open the closet? There was nothing there and you faced your demons, the so called monster.

Facing our emotions takes work, but it’s the work we must do in order to integrate ourselves fully.

When we turn toward our emotions and follow the breadcrumbs of this feeling and that feeling, we begin peeling the layers of the onion and truly understanding ourselves on a deeper level. We may discover the true reason for our emotion was actually something completely different than the situation itself! We may even discover a limiting belief causing such pain on an conscious level.

Can we trust and love ourselves during this time? Can we maybe turn side ways the first time and gently feel into it so that next time we can turn the whole way into the depths of our emotions?

And no matter the answer – may we trust and love, just a little more, where we are in this moment.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Using The Breath To Transform Difficult Emotions

In a previous post we talked about how to love every situation, even the bad ones. In this post I’ll dig into one important step we can take when our immediate, strong reaction is to turn away and ignore these tough situations.

For the times when we want to straight run away and ignore certain emotions such as anger, hurt, sadness, jealousy, etc., we need to deploy one thing – our breath.

Using our breath to “digest” these emotions will help us from turning away, to turning IN.

It’s said in indigenous Peruvian shamanic/spiritual culture that elders would guide people to push the emotion down to the stomach and breath through it in order to digest and work through tough emotions.

I discovered this Peruvian practice after implementing this breath work for myself and wasn’t surprised at all to find out! Especially with deeply similar practices from other traditions such as those from Yoga, Buddhism, and even the Whim Hoff method of breath work!

Clearly there’s a reason why breath is such a powerful tool to bringing us back to our essence. Our true “self” amidst the harshest of emotions.

The next time you find yourself wanting to turn away take a moment, wherever you are, to BREATHE.

Breathe as heavy, fast, and as loudly as you need to and focus on turning inward. Really look at what you are digesting and allow the breath to do the work. Be with every breath as you discover and unfold the workings of the emotion.

Toward the end of the session (anywhere from 5-15 minutes) you’ll discover that you allowed the emotion to pass, or at least lessen a significant degree, and likely have uncovered a new finding about yourself. Whether that’s more mindfulness, awareness of true self, a deeper capacity to forgive, more love, etc., there will be an empowering shift within you.

So here’s to the first thing we ever did as humans – breathe, and to give thanks toward this life giving practice of breath work.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Eli DeFaria on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 12/15/17 {Our Relationship To Emotions & Ways to Center}

It’s officially the middle of the month guys… are you taking advantage of every moment? Drinking in the last few days of 2017?!

I know for certain I have had a few moments this past week where I am caught up in the busy-ness of the day to day, but thankfully yoga and meditation brings me back to center.

What are your day to day staples that help you bring you to your center?

No really, do you have something that can help you calm the thoughts? the emotions? the discomfort of being in your body at times?

Oftentimes we forget that it’s OK to have the emotion but what’s actually causing the suffering is our RELATIONSHIP to the emotion which causes angst and incredible pain.

That’s where the practice of silent quality time with yourself can come in handy. Whether you have a practice already or not, I thought I’d list a couple here. Personally I have found it helpful to switch it up at times.

Ways to Center

And the list goes on! The point here is to give you a breath of inspiration OR allow yourself to pivot from any of the ideas above so that you can creatively find new ways to center.

This practice is powerful and if you already have a personal practice you know what I’m talking about. They’re a life saver 😉

So, if there’s one thing I can emphasize for this week’s Friday Focus it’s this – it’s not our emotions, it’s our relationship to the emotion that causes the suffering.

Here’s to finding more ways to find our center and a new awareness of our relationship to our thoughts and emotions.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash

Unresolved Emotions

Do you often find that unresolved emotions lead to regretful decisions?

Why is that? Well here are a few examples:

1) Anger at someone > “I’ll show him/her!” > Send hasty email
2) Anxiety, depression > Escapism > Open pint of ice cream
3) Regret, shame > Need to fix > Run 5 miles
4) Frustration, angst, sadness > Need to get it off your chest > Call friend in a heated moment, say the wrong things
5) Guilt > Need to fix > Over compensate or over commit to something you, deep down, don’t want to do

I don’t know about you but I have certainly found myself in a number of these situations before… and then I realized there was a key step in-between the emotion and the decision:

SELF AWARENESS / MINDFULNESS / SURRENDER / GOD / COMPASSION

Call it what you need to fit into your framework but for simplicity’s sake let’s call it Awareness.

When you have the awareness right **after** the emotion begins and right **before** the decision THAT is all you need to step back for just a moment.

And in that stepping back can you just sit with the emotion? Where is it in your body? Can you drop into it? What is it really trying to tell you?

Take a moment or two, heck take a week if you must! Take as long as you need until you feel good about your decision and know you aren’t trying to avoid the feeling. We seem to be good at that as we humans evolved.

Last but not least, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it each and every time! For some it comes easy and for others it requires a bit more practice, mindfulness, and/or guidance. But but know this: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are everything you need to be and everything is unfolding in your divine order.

In wellness.

Take The Time: Watch It Come And Go

I’ve been really meditating on yesterday’s post, Watch It Come And Go. I find that it’s a lot easier when you’re in ‘total’ alignment or when everything is humming along smoothly in life. But how about when it is really put to the test!?

  • When your routine is thrown off
  • When there’s a crisis at work
  • Or how about when your flight is delayed 6 hours?!

You see, over the holiday weekend I took a long road trip from San Francisco to Seattle and so the body is a bit more tired and same goes with the mind as well. I had all the feels, from relief that I finally have everything in one place to urgency around organization and completion (of letting the physical things go).

As the feels came and went I took a moment to watch it come and go. I took a moment to watch the reaction, be with the emotions, be curious about what was going on… and then I watched one emotion come and go, and another emotion do the same.

I practiced this pretty much all day yesterday and it took me a day to write this as I was doing more the practicing and observing than the writing 😉

So what about you? What tends to throw you off and what have you noticed coming up for yourself?

In wellness.

Namaste.

Walking Into Fear With All The Feels

I got into San Francisco yesterday evening. It’s funny, as I was waiting for my Uber at SFO I smelled SF. Yes, I didn’t realize until this moment that SF/Bay Area had a distinct smell. Doesn’t sound too weird to me though because that’s how I feel every time I land at ICN too 🙂

Upon getting to the hotel and settling in, while it was late I wasn’t ready to go to sleep just yet. As I was sitting in bed pondering whether I should read or try to sleep suddenly I got hit with this incredibly hard feeling that I needed to cry. Out of nowhere this feeling left me feeling bewildered. Where is this coming from?

A quick mental calculation later I realized it would be the time of the month soon, but still… was there anything else going on?

I waited. I listened. I sat. I laid. Nothing happened. I’ve always been a hard crier, meaning the tears just wouldn’t flow without a good reason, so I let it be and turned down for bed.

The evening was long. And I mean loooooooong. The heater in the room made a loud clanky noise every time it turned on/off, plus, it wasn’t my bed. At around 4am I finally fell into a deep sleep and suddenly found myself lucid dreaming. Towards the end of this dream like state I realized the tears that were flowing from my face were actually streaming down my face IRL! I decided to wake up the moment my hands came up to wipe my tears away.

Was I surprised? Not really. A little? Yes.

I wasn’t surprised that the tears had finally come out, but what I was surprised about was the fact that it came out from a dream and that I felt deep emotions in this dream. I am by no means a dream interpreter but I had heard once that you can find meaning behind your dreams by getting a feel for what emotions came up.

So what did I feel in this dream? Oppression, hurt, sadness, nonacceptance, anger.

Without going into the why, because there could be a million reasons why (i.e., somatics, energy, the phase of the moon, a woman’s cycle, etc.), what I do know is that I began to sit with the emotions.

In my waking state I took time to be in silence, to just breathe, and to be in awareness.

My key takeaway is this:

  • It happened
  • Listen to what you feel
  • Feel it
  • Will I personalize it?
  • Or will I walk into the feeling, be with it, and practice self love?

You see there’s a million ways of going about it but it all comes down to bringing light to dark. What will you do and where will you take it? Can you let it go after you’ve had enough time to process?

So here’s to all the feels and the moments following the feels to be with them in self love, acceptance, and surrender.

Much love.

What Are You Creating?

As humans we are constantly creating. Whether it’s our job, our relationships, our feelings, our next “fill in the blank”, our social media, our goals, you see… there is always something in motion.

The most critical part of creation is this ➡

Are you creating from a place of lack or a place of abundance? Fear or Love? Resistance or Flow? What is the main foundational emotion running YOUR engine?

When you really think about it, what emotion would you rather have running through you while you are off creating in this world?

Namaste.