I’ve debated for as long as my writings have submerged whether or not I wanted to divulge this part of my life. Not because it’s personal, but because the “cure” didn’t come in the form of a person or special herbal supplement. The cure was actually something so simple yet required a miracle mindset to achieve.
Let me start from the beginning.
For as long as I could remember I had debilitating PMS symptoms. From intense cravings, bloating up to 5-7 pounds in water weight, irritability, intense emotions, and this was the clincher for me – depression.
Like clockwork every 2 weeks I would dread the 14 day mark where these symptoms would arrive and drive me crazy until the 3rd day into my menstrual cycle. I began tracking every period so that I can brace myself and prepare for the 2 weeks out of every month (that’s 6 months of the year by the way) where I would need to mentally strap myself in for the ride.
Researching cures was a part time job. During every break and bedtime reading it was reading the latest scientific research on which herbal supplement, exercise, hormone treatment might possibly be the cure for me. I was searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… and the Unicorn.
I tried visiting multiple doctors and every emerging biohack that existed, and while I saw incremental changes it was nothing compared to the peace I so deeply desired.
Birth control pills were out of the question. I tried it once and cried for no reason in public and it wasn’t until my mother asked if I made any changes to my supplement regimen that I realized it was the pill that wasn’t working for me.
What truly helped was getting in tune with my body. The first time I ever realized this was when I went gluten free after having done an elimination diet when I first started Crossfit. Going gluten free was a game changer. No longer did I have the debilitating cramps that kept me popping ibuprofen and staying in bed! However, this was short lived as I still encountered many of the other symptoms that equally drove me crazy.
Fast forward several years I remember being curled up in a ball and fervently praying to God, the Universe, anyone that would listen. I prayed that I be at peace… for my mind was driving me insane.
Just thinking about the next 14 days was driving me crazy. You see, I was perpetually in a state of being a slave to the thought. A puppet to the PMS gods.
I prayed out of desperation because none of my strategies were working and I didn’t have any more cards up my sleeve to even consider.
I prayed to see things differently. Ultimately, I just prayed for peace. I remember distinctly saying, “I don’t even care if I continue on with these symptoms, I just need the peace.”
In complete and utter surrender I fell asleep and the next morning I decided to walk 4 miles to city center instead of taking the bus. In that moment I realized I was in a different state. I remember to this day that if even an inkling of a PMS related thought (or any negative thought for that matter) crossed my mind I just decided, “Nope, not going to think about that right now.” and I moved on.
And fast forward another few years later – still NO PMS SYMPTOMS. None, nada, zilch, nothing.
I remember in all my 20s saying to God, “If you cure me of this I swear I’ll write a blog post about what happened.”. So here I am fulfilling my promise.
And I can almost hear the disappointment because I of all people very well know by no means is this a sexy cure all. I know first hand how desperately satisfying and exciting it is to have someone say, “I tried X product with X person and my disease is completely gone! I am loving life now!”.
But I need to be completely honest of my own experience – it was what worked for me.
If someone would have told me this story in my early 20s I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Yea, lucky you but that isn’t going to work for me.”.
It wasn’t until years later after becoming an Integrative Life Coach (and years of studying various modalities related to neuroscience) that I realized what I did on my own is an actual thing.
You see, we are playing a movie in our minds eye all the time and what we see is a mere reflection of what we think. We can be at peace right away, symptoms or not, because it isn’t the PMS that is causing us our suffering it is our thought about it.
I just simply changed my thought.
We have become so accustomed to believing our thought is fact when really it’s just a thought. It takes a mental meta-model to truly see the nuances but it can be done. Why do you think mindfulness has made it so big? It’s achieving the same goal of separating thought from fact.
And I get it. It’s not the sexiest cure; but I also understand it’s individual timing. It’s trusting the journey in where you are. It’s the willingness to see things differently and sometimes that willingness only appears when you are so desperate.
Truly this was the moment where I experienced a miracle. I mean, if someone told me I wouldn’t have anymore PMS symptoms the next day I don’t know if I would have believed it.
Again, this was the moment I realized just how powerful our brains truly are.
Were the symptoms real? Of course. But it makes me question (and thus launched me deep into the research of the brain) and why I became an Integrative Life Coach, just how much of the symptoms were caused by the power of my own thoughts vs. my body?
I’ll say it again, through years of my own research I have come to learn that thoughts cause emotions, not the other way around. HOW we look at life, our very own perspective and belief systems, are the very basis of how we will experience life!
This is the true work of personal power. Understanding our very own foundation allows us to become the strong pillars we so desperately seek in our lives.
So whether it is PMS or some other patterned thought/behavior – just recognize that there is possibility in making your experience of the situation completely different.
On that note, I bow deeply to anyone reading this post going through PMS or any other similar situation… your strength, courage, and determination does not go unnoticed.
In deep wellness,
Susan
Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash
