Seattle Stress and Overeating Coach

Why You’re NOT Reaching Your Goals

I see a lot of people who set goals and not reach them…

Why?

It’s simple really, though it may be hard to grasp if you’re head isn’t screwed on right today 😉

Most often people set goals and don’t feel good about it (for long).

And what does not feeling good imply?

“I’m not worthy”

“This is impossible”

“Why bother”

“Is this even worth the trouble?”

And what do these following statements actually get you?

INACTION

INCOMPLETE ACTION

LESS CREATIVITY

NO MOTIVATION

And most importantly, you’ve already convinced your subconscious that there is SERIOUS lack in your life RIGHT NOW because you’re so focused on a future goal you can’t enjoy what’s actually going on in your life.

It’s no wonder we can’t reach our goals in a more faster and efficient way!

When we set goals the single most important thing you need is this:

  1. NEW IDENTITY

What would a person that doesn’t stress about work or people think and feel like?

What would a person wanting to lose 8 pounds actually do day in and day out?

What would a person who wants to be happy be thinking about?

It all comes down to identity…

What I see a lot of people do instead is keep their current identity and will power their way to the next level. And that’s a whole lotta WORK!!!

So set your mind straight first.

Think and feel from your future self.

Don’t waste your time and precious energy trying to white knuckle your way there…

Because trust me, there is a much simpler, faster way to reach your goal, and I’ll be cheering you on from the side lines.

In wellness,

Susan

 

Adrenal Fatigue Life Coach - Coaching you to FEEL better

How To Set A Goal In 4 Easy Steps

One of my absolute favorite ways to goal setting is in 4 easy steps. I don’t like to over complicate things and find that when I follow this simple formula, I make it very clear and actionable to my brain to reach my goal.

The first step to any goal setting exercise is to – SET THE GOAL!

What is it that you want to focus on? Try to keep your sentence simple and straightforward without adding any additional goals interspersed. For example, a clear goal would be: I want to learn to meditate.

A not so clear goal would be: I want to learn to meditate the various forms of meditation and master one of them.

While there’s nothing wrong with mastering meditation what makes it difficult for your brain is that suddenly there is more than one goal for it to focus on. Pick one and commit before moving on to the next goal.

The second step to setting a goal is to focus on your desired feeling.

Take some time here to visualize yourself once you’ve achieved your goal. Where are you specifically? What does your face look like? How do you feel in your body? What are you saying? Who is with you?

Take yourself to that moment and FEEL what it would feel like to achieve this goal.

What I love about this exercise is that you’re already feeling what you initially wanted to feel. Think about it, what drives every human being to DO something is because they want to FEEL something. I often tell people to feel it first and sometimes, not all the time but sometimes, the client may realize it wasn’t so much the goal they were after more than it was the FEELING. Pretty awesome.

Adrenal Fatigue Life Coach - Goal Setting

So next it’s pretty simple, we need to set actionable steps to get to your goal! If we’re using the “learn to meditate” example above a few actionable steps might be:

  • Research local meditation centers in the area
  • Visit one meditation center each week
  • Pick one and go weekly
  • Meditate 10 minutes a night before bed

A word of caution: learning the difference between PASSIVE action and straight ACTION is key.

Passive action is when it feels like you’re taking a lot of action but there’s no outcome to prove it. For example, learning about meditation is not the same as visiting a meditation center or actually meditating.

Next is my second favorite about goal setting. It’s setting CONSTRAINTS.

Constraints are limitations or restrictions you set yourself so that you can stay laser focused on the goal. One constraint can be, no social media or blue light activity after 9pm. Another constraint might be, commit to ONE form of meditation.

Constraints help us to keep the blinders on so that we aren’t constantly distracted by the next shiny, tempting object.

Last but not least, I always like to end the goal setting session by asking this final question: How will I know I achieved my goal?

This does one of two things.

First, it allows you to understand the direct result you’re looking for and forces you to be specific. That way, you don’t end up setting one goal, and have it be a never ending goal…

Second, it provides a way for your brain to receive a dopamine hit once you’ve achieved your goal. If you don’t get specific about the goal, how will you know you ever reached it? Small, short wins are the key to keeping yourself motivated and excited about every step you take.

So there you have it dear souls! Goal setting in 4 simple steps.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

 

Embodying Your Intentions & Taking One Small Step

There’s always something about the first few weeks of the new year that makes it special. You’re still in awe of how the last year flew by, and in a way, motivated to make the most out of this one. I know I certainly am.

While most traditions call for new year resolutions I’ve become a believer of setting intentions instead. Why? Because intentions inherently focus on the positive qualities we want to imbue, not the “thing” we must strive for (aka resolutions).

Now the exception to this rule is if you are the type of person that absolutely gets pumped over resolutions.

No seriously! I can’t stress enough how important it is to know thy self. No one can tell you what’s right and wrong for you – only you know what works, and yes, while this evolves over time as you do – only you can know what’s right for you in any moment when you truly connect with your deepest self.

After you’ve set your intention, imagine how it would feel to embody those qualities of said intention by asking yourself these powerful questions:

  • What qualities do you need to feel good carrying out your intention? List as many as you can.
  • What sensations and/or emotions do you feel?
  • Where in your body do you feel them? Describe every detail of how it feels!
  • How do you perceive the world differently? What’s changed specifically?
  • What does your voice sound like when you are interacting with others?
  • What would it look like in your actions/interactions with others? What are the differences in how you view yourself?

And of course, the pivotal question to get you started – what is the one small step you can take for yourself?

Whether it’s:

  • lighting a candle to start a personal QT (quality time) practice
  • flossing your two front teeth
  • setting an alarm to meditate for ONE minute
  • preparing ONE healthy meal for yourself during the week
  • praising ONE person during the week to help elevate another person
  • taking 5 deep breaths a day to start a breathing practice
  • drinking ONE tall glass of water during the day

Do you see how taking one small step allows for easy, quick accomplishments? This rewards the brain center and suddenly any blocks or fears around whether or not the “goal” is truly achievable lessens with every small win.

Whenever I want to incorporate a new aspect into my lifestyle this is exactly what I do.

  1. First, I meditate on what it is I truly want. Rather than focusing on a certain goal, I focus on my intention. What is the deeper meaning behind incorporating this into my life?
  2. I then look at the qualities of what it is I want to incorporate. Is it more love? peace? joy? strength? determination?
  3. I look to the one small step I can take to make it an easy win
  4. Repeat step 3 🙂

If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to take a deep review of what it is you truly want more of in your life this year. Often times, you may even notice your qualities end up being your intention and that is OK as well!

Here’s to the turtle that always wins the race 🙂

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Samuel Clara on Unsplash