Transformational Coaching
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by a discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our butts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
~M. Scott Peck
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash
It’s easy to look back with 20/20 vision and see what could have transpired; what you think would have been a better outcome.
But one thing is for certain – we can only look back as a function of learning and trust we are now using this knowledge and experience to make the best decisions in the present to build a brighter future.
Unfortunately, what happens more often than not, is people find ways to look back guilting, blaming, or shaming themselves for what they couldn’t have possibly knew.
Just remember this – you did the best you could in that moment.
The key here is to learn from yourself and the results as the necessary and appropriate steps to move forward and take action for a future you look forward to building; because when you get stuck in the past guilting, blaming or shaming you are only putting yourself in a painful memory lock. It’s function of learning no longer exists.
So remember, trust you did what you could and trust yourself to have learned the lesson.
Most importantly, love the part of you that feels the need to hurt. Love is the answer.
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Corinne Kutz on Unsplash
I wanted to talk today about the power of inquiry.
Have you ever noticed that when you begin with inquiry people pay attention? And when this inquiry is self directed, you begin to pay attention as well?
Typical statements, commentary, and self talk is, well, just that – typical. It’s expected and it’s on auto pilot. So much so that it becomes habituated. Even the responses become habituated!
But when we start by inquiring, “the beginner’s mind”, as it is known in Zen Buddhist traditions, we are met with qualities such as awe, curiosity, and wonder. And this positive resonance has a deep impact in how we approach the very thing we are dealing with, whether in the outside world or our very own inside world.
Inquiry allows for possibility.
To inquire means there is a curiosity in getting to know something or someone. It means you are open to learning. And this is beautiful.
When we approach with inquiry we are more open than ever. We begin to see things we never would have seen. We begin to feel things we never would have felt.
As an experiment, try it today! Whether it is with a difficult emotion you are encountering or headed into work and seeing old & new co-workers, start with inquiry. See what comes up before your brain goes on auto-pilot. Ask yourself:
And watch what happens. Observe the response, and even in the response inquire even more.
You see, when we inquire we not only allow for possibilities and higher resonating qualities within us, we are, as a byproduct, being mindful of what is in front of us as well as what actually arises.
Here’s to a bit more inquiry in our lives and seeing what newness unfolds.
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Cody Davis on Unsplash
Oftentimes it’s easy to run away from our emotions. In this day and age, it’s almost too easy to numb out.
Whether that’s picking up the phone and checking Instagram or Facebook, reaching for the bag of chips, or turning on Netflix and binge watch a whole season of GOT. The options are a many.
And while it may seem scary to actually face the demons, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do in order to see what’s really under the covers.
Remember when you were a little kid and you ran into your parent’s bedroom saying you couldn’t sleep because there was a monster under the bed, or maybe in the closet? Then your parents (or heck, maybe you even did it yourself!) would walk you back into the room and lift the covers or open the closet? There was nothing there and you faced your demons, the so called monster.
Facing our emotions takes work, but it’s the work we must do in order to integrate ourselves fully.
When we turn toward our emotions and follow the breadcrumbs of this feeling and that feeling, we begin peeling the layers of the onion and truly understanding ourselves on a deeper level. We may discover the true reason for our emotion was actually something completely different than the situation itself! We may even discover a limiting belief causing such pain on an conscious level.
Can we trust and love ourselves during this time? Can we maybe turn side ways the first time and gently feel into it so that next time we can turn the whole way into the depths of our emotions?
And no matter the answer – may we trust and love, just a little more, where we are in this moment.
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash
Whether you’ve been dabbling in the field of personal development for a while or whether you’re new, it becomes incredibly empowering to learn new techniques and frameworks to help make sense of ourselves and our lives. And when we practice these techniques and frameworks, our lives literally can make a 180 degree turn. How amazing is that?
However, there will come a time, possibly many, where given the knowledge and resources we have we may feel we already know the answer, yet, we don’t see a shift in the situation or our emotions.
This is when we, as I like to call it, get lost in the knowing.
Suddenly we’ve become involved in our own story. We’re so deep into wearing the detective hat, that we’ve lost our way in the vortex of our very own knowing.
Ironic isn’t it?
When this happens, I always invite myself and others to ask, “What can I learn here? What is this situation teaching me?”. Or as Matt Khan so passionately says about any situation, “Thank you for teaching me.”
When we step out of the control and into surrender, there is grace; there is self compassion. And suddenly we ease into the situation as opposed to trying to conquer the situation. Quite different isn’t it? 😉
No matter what you’re going through, just remember… this grace is precious, and it’s in each and every one of us.
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”
~William James
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash
Photography is very big in my life. I love capturing the beautiful soul I see during portrait sessions, and particularly love the special family moments, the in between as I like to call it, during family sessions. While I don’t do nearly as many sessions as I used to years ago, I still love it when old clients ask for updated photos.
Earlier this week I was noticing how, as humans, it’s incredibly easy to focus on the minutiae. Our focus tends to be on ONE thing, and when I say ONE thing, it’s hyper focused on that subject and moves on to the next when we feel like we’ve resolved (aka controlled) it in some way or another.
And I thought to myself, what if we zoomed out?
How much of this precious life, this day, this landscape are we missing by zooming in? What if we took a step back (for those of you that are used to primes) and saw the bigger picture? Just how much meaning of the bigger picture does this “one” thing end up having?
Oftentimes we forget. We forget how much grandeur, mystery, beauty, and synchronicity there is to life.
We forget just how much beauty there is everywhere, including our own selves.
Can we zoom out today? And begin to appreciate the bigger picture? What other beautiful mysteries might we be missing?
I hope we find out.
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Alvaro Araujo Alcalde on Unsplash
I had an idea of what I wanted to share today; it was going to be about the New Year, and I decided to scrap it at the last minute because something else was calling me to write about a very powerful message.
You see, sometimes we need to seek answers and that is completely OK. We need to go through different teachers whether it be yoga teachers, therapists, astrologers, psychics, chiropractors, life coaches, massage therapists, etc. to obtain the information we need at that time in order to grow and move on.
The beautiful thing is we begin to learn what works for us. Does touch work as a healing modality? Perhaps talking things out without the other person’s judgement is a form of release. Or maybe specific movement patterns such as Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or Yoga seems to alleviate emotional and physical pain vs. the typical bootcamp or hard core spin class. Maybe typical meditation doesn’t work for you right now. Or you discover that talking to your best friend is the best therapy, and it’s free!
As we learn to intuitively feel into what we need, we begin to learn what works for us (and mind you that always changes as well!).
However, almost always there comes a time when we reach a point of the constant search. Soon, we forget what we truly needed in the first place. Perhaps we got what we needed and quickly developed a new need. Or maybe you are searching for a specific answer but you haven’t received it just yet.
Regardless of the root cause, if you find yourself ridden with anxiety in a constant search for X, I’m here to tell you to take a deep breath and pause.
No matter what you hear out there or what you learn from your guru, we are all human at the end of the day. I mean, can we really know all the answers? Is there only one answer? Aren’t we changing all the time, in every moment as well? Plus, there are new discoveries made in the spiritual and scientific realms every. single. day! There’s no way anyone can come to learn everything in this moment – possibly ever!
So what can we do?
Listen to the small, still voice inside of YOU.
Remember, no one has every answer, and no one is YOU. Only you know for yourself what truly clicks and what doesn’t. You are designed as uniquely as a snowflake and so is everyone else. If discoveries are being made daily, who is to say this one way is the way? Or that it even exists?
Take a deep breath and pause. Listen to your heart. Place one hand on your heart, and the other on the ground in front of you and listen for as long as you need to until you feel the strength and all knowing truth that is already within.
It’s ok to search. It’s ok to seek. We’re meant to grow, learn, and evolve. But if you’re beginning to feel anxious in hoping to discover THE answer, always remember this – the TRUTH is within.
In wellness,
Susan
Photo by Jimmy Chang on Unsplash