Tag: Mindfulness

Loving The Contrast

When we’re in the muck… you know, the parts of our lives where we want to ignore, numb, or just wish time would speed up so we can get to the happy bits, is a place I’ve learned to honor and cherish (cherish seems to be a theme this week!).

You see, I call this part of our lives Contrast.

Why have I come to love Contrast so much? Oh, let me explain the ways… 🙂

Contrast is when we feel something other than at our center, our true, deepest self. When we feel any form of emotion that is other than Love, say, fear, anxiety, anger, depression, etc., this is an opportunity for Transformation.

I’m not saying we just skip all the work and tell ourselves, “I’m now in a place of Love and everything is ok!, no, far from it. But, when we can become aware of the Contrast and truly thank it, we can now do the work to understand where transformation is needed.

It’s much harder to ignore, push away, numb, or be in denial of what we are truly feeling deep down in our state of Contrast. Wait harder? YES. No one tells us that the fastest and easiest way to rise above Contrast is to go through it!

When we come to terms and are willing to do the work, we are entering into a state of deep transformation. We are saying Yes to the deeper part of ourselves that wants to be seen and loved.

Can you name a time when a situation or emotion presented itself over and over again, yet you just pushed it away hoping it wouldn’t come back?

I wish someone had told me in my teens and 20s; unfrotunately, the situation and/or emotion always came back, and now, I thank the Contrast for allowing myself to open up to deep and radical transformation so that I can do the work now.

And on that note, how much better does that feel energetically?! Rather than pushing it away, doesn’t stepping into it provide a much higher vibrational state? A curiosity even?

While there is the nuances of timing, readiness, and willingness that may need consideration, the next time you find yourself in Contrast try looking at it with curiosity… you never know what deep truth is waiting for you.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Caleb George on Unsplash

Oneness

“It’s always about Oneness or Separation”

~Kristin Hanggi

When you open your closed heart, that’s when life begins.

Photo by Ricardo

Friday Focus – 12/15/17 {Our Relationship To Emotions & Ways to Center}

It’s officially the middle of the month guys… are you taking advantage of every moment? Drinking in the last few days of 2017?!

I know for certain I have had a few moments this past week where I am caught up in the busy-ness of the day to day, but thankfully yoga and meditation brings me back to center.

What are your day to day staples that help you bring you to your center?

No really, do you have something that can help you calm the thoughts? the emotions? the discomfort of being in your body at times?

Oftentimes we forget that it’s OK to have the emotion but what’s actually causing the suffering is our RELATIONSHIP to the emotion which causes angst and incredible pain.

That’s where the practice of silent quality time with yourself can come in handy. Whether you have a practice already or not, I thought I’d list a couple here. Personally I have found it helpful to switch it up at times.

Ways to Center

And the list goes on! The point here is to give you a breath of inspiration OR allow yourself to pivot from any of the ideas above so that you can creatively find new ways to center.

This practice is powerful and if you already have a personal practice you know what I’m talking about. They’re a life saver 😉

So, if there’s one thing I can emphasize for this week’s Friday Focus it’s this – it’s not our emotions, it’s our relationship to the emotion that causes the suffering.

Here’s to finding more ways to find our center and a new awareness of our relationship to our thoughts and emotions.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash

Beliefs

They say, you practice an emotional state ’til it becomes a neural trait.

~Melissa Tiers

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Letting Go Of Mental Shaming

I see a lot of mental shaming that goes on when people can’t seem to make a desired change. Particularly when they don’t understand why all of their efforts and mental willpower doesn’t lead to enact permanent change.

First of all, don’t judge yourself. That is the worst thing you can do in this type of situation. Why? Because it’s not your fault. And trust me, I’ve been there myself where I used to judge and blame myself for failing multiple times in trying to change behavior.

You see, somewhere deep down in your unconscious mind there is still a limiting belief (aka Fear) holding you back. So no matter how hard you try or consciously believe you want the change, there’s still some work involved in trying to get your unconscious to believe it.

Aside from actual behavior, another way we know we are running old belief systems is by taking a closer look at our body. Our bodies store a lot of this hidden emotion; more than we can ever truly know. Try to think of one specific goal you’ve been trying to work on for the past few months or even years. Now, take a moment to be honest and ask yourself, “what event or trigger prevents me from going the last mile?”. You’ll often notice that when you recall a specific moment your body is also reacting to the limiting belief. Whether it tenses up, becomes anxious, angry, etc. your body is only reacting to a running belief system.

Now for the good news: whether you get to the underlying belief system or not is not nearly as important as this one fact – you have the power to change.

As I’ve mentioned before, making permanent change requires you to understand and pinpoint specific moments where desired change should happen and change your response by changing your state. If old belief systems were running our outcomes then it requires a NEW belief system to make new outcomes. What do you need or want to believe so that you don’t run up against the same wall over and over again? How do you need to feel in order to overcome the block? These are just a few key questions you can ask yourself to get started.

Now, having said that though also requires a bit of faith and surrender. After all, if we can’t surrender and/or aren’t willing to see things differently where is the room to consider possibilities? Change? Hope? Where is the room to learn, grow, and be open to greater magic to unfold?

And of course on that note…

Sometimes, surrendering and knowing this is where you need to be for where you are is good enough.

Sometimes, what we need is more compassion and time for the dust to settle.

And sometimes, that is more than good enough.

So be kind to yourself. Trust the process and know when you are ready you have all that you need to make positive change happen. Last but not least, lean in to surrender and faith. Don’t be too tied to a specific outcome. After all, who knows what the Universe might give you instead? 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 12/8/17 {Cherishing The Moments}

Seattle has been absolutely gorgeous this past week, and I hear it’s going to stay this way until next week. This makes my heart skip a beat. If you’ve ever spent a non-rainy day in Seattle you know very well what this might feel like. The fresh, crisp, cool air, the warmth of the sun on your face, clear blue skies, outlined by the evergreens and the cascades everywhere you look. It’s pretty much perfection! Don’t get me wrong, the rainy days can be just as cozy… but as they say you can’t take the sun out of the girl. 😉

Lately, I’ve been cherishing every moment. Finding the good in every moment. Each time I let the pup out in the morning I take a BIG gulp of fresh air. I feel the coolness of the air come into my throat, down my lungs, all the way through to the back of my heart. Then I open my eyes and stare up at the huge evergreen in my backyard and thank God for this moment. I end this small moment in time by standing in awe of what is truly in front of my eyes.

What makes these days even more precious is knowing that these are the last few days of 2017!

I don’t know about you guys but I am all about making each and every moment count; which by the way reminds me of a truly great article by Tim Urban who so eloquently put our time into perspective.

No matter how stressed I am, when I take a moment to truly appreciate our time I am left with immense gratitude. After all, it’s perspective, and a question we can ask ourselves right now is, what lens am I wearing today?

As we approach the end of the year things can get hectic, reallllly hectic. So for this week’s Friday Focus it’s all about cherishing the moments. How can we stay in wonder and gratitude throughout the day? What small, minute moments can we cherish and love knowing this moment is all we have right now?

Here’s to another sun filled weekend, and may we appreciate the stillness that is always present.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Zhifei Zhou on Unsplash

How You React Reflects Your Core Beliefs

Have you ever said one thing but noticed your actions never followed through? Or maybe your body didn’t feel as relaxed or calm as your voice did?

One easy way to know whether your words match your core beliefs is to notice your reactions.

How you REACT is a deep reflection of your CORE BELIEFS.

“She doesn’t bother me anymore” – Yet you feel tense and angry inside

“My fear of big dogs is completely gone” – Yet your body tenses up just a bit every time you see a big dog

“I can’t wait to see you next week!” – Yet your stomach drops and you don’t feel elation like you would a really good friend

“I’m really exited about this new job” – Yet, you don’t feel good deep inside your heart

These are only a few examples but it’s enough to get the gist of the pull quote above. How are you reacting and does your body language and emotions align?

Take a moment to think about one thing you want to happen in your life. Whether that’s to date more people, find that new job, finally get over someone, start a new diet, whatever it is, take a moment to name one thing you are so sure that you want and have wanted for a really long time now.

You have it? Ok, write it down as an affirmation. An example would be, “I have a soul charged career and work with people I love to see every day.”

Once you’ve written your affirmation down, say it out loud. Declare it.

How did that feel in your body? What emotions came up for you? Is there a feeling of doubt? Did you cringe? Did you feel a bit defeated? Or did you feel a smile on your face? Elation? Belief? Trust?

If you felt more of the first category of emotions don’t fret. The point here is not to be disappointed about this, it’s to get excited about it! Yes, excited! Why? Because now you have a clue as to why your deeper, subconscious self doesn’t believe the statement you read aloud.

Take some time to do some pattern recognition work. Look back at the times in your life where you tried to make this change, but ultimately change never happened. In what ways did you sabotage yourself? What are some core limiting beliefs you had in the past that prevented you from following through on the change?

The best way to do this reflection is automatic writing or free flow writing. Get out a note pad, journal and a pen and start writing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to write yet, just begin writing! Repeat the same word over and over again until something flows.

Another way to do this is to write a letter to God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self and then write a response back as if God, The Universe, or Your Higher Self were writing you back. You would be surprised at how easily the answer comes.

You see, the answer is always within us. It doesn’t matter what modality you use, just find the one that works for you.

Throughout these processes you will begin to realize a few core limiting beliefs have been holding you back. Typically these core limiting beliefs sound something like:

  • There’s no such thing as a career I love for me out there
  • I don’t think big dogs can truly be nice or I must attract the scary big dogs
  • I can’t seem to handle anxious emotions very well

Whatever your core limiting belief is you will notice it right away once it begins to come to light, and THIS is what needs to be worked on before change can happen.

Typically, if you are truly ready to break the limiting belief, once you’ve identified what those are for you, you might notice your mind already working and shifting toward positive change. If not, don’t worry, now that you know what your core limiting beliefs are you can work with a trusted friend to create accountability, do some research, listen to podcasts, or reach out to resources such as a therapist or life coach.

This should be exciting and I hope you begin to feel the work of change growing inside you. Once you’re truly ready for change you’ll begin noticing open doors and little hints here and there… follow them.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 12/1/17 {Living With Complacency Or Finally Making CHANGE!}

I am beyond excited about a couple of things. For one, it’s DECEMBER. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like it was the holidays just yet. But something hit me yesterday… maybe it was all the neighborhood decorations, the overall mood of this city, or sitting at Starbucks reading Peter Levine’s Trauma and Memory while Christmas music was playing in the background. Either way, I am FEELING IT and excited to give this last month of 2017 100%.

Second of all, it’s Friday Focus and today – I wanted to talk about something that I have been feeling passionate about ALL WEEK. Clearly I have a lot of passion in general these days given the number of CAPS I’ve been using so far in this post 😉

Ok, so for this week’s Friday Focus I wanted to talk about PATTERNS.

Yes, I write about patterns – a lot. But what I want to drive home today, especially since a lot of people will be reflecting on this past year and working on New Year resolutions, is the idea around pattern recognition and why change ensues (or doesn’t).

Can we for one moment have a come to Jesus moment about our patterns? It’s one thing to say, “Oh yea, I kind of do that don’t I?” and grin at your friend, it’s a complete other thing when you actually recognize the pattern and the EFFECT it has on your life and most importantly the outcome.

Which outcome, or area in your life are you unsatisfied with? You see it every single year and yet, no change. Why? No really, WHY?

Scrutinize your patterns. There is an underlying emotion that is prohibiting you from stepping forward and making progress. Did you know that?

Often times, we say we want to make change in our lives and yet, we know deep, deep down we won’t do anything about it. And to be honest, that’s ok.

You see, we have to be completely READY for change to actually happen. No matter how hard you consciously try, if your subconscious doesn’t believe you, then unfortunately change won’t happen.

I actually LOVE telling people this because it’s the wakeup call that everyone needs to hear to A) either come to peace with the complacency and stop the mental shaming or B) grit their teeth and believe it to their bones that they are actually ready for CHANGE.

Isn’t that empowering? I mean, either way…. Now the power is truly in your hands!

Ok, this was sort of a love rant because I truly do care. I mean hey, we’ve all been there where we wanted to see change in one area of our life but couldn’t figure out why. This is one big hint as to why that might be the case!

When you have a moment to reflect, jot down the patterns. See where you are held up, where things aren’t flowing, and try to understand yourself a little more. It’s the one small step toward change you can make today before understanding the type of change agent you need to seek 💗

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

 

Burn It All Away

Ok, not really but there is a little burning involved, or if you don’t have access to a safe place to burn a piece of paper, there is a little ripping involved.

But hold your horses, before you get any wild, crazy ideas let me explain.

I’ve always been a proponent of journaling. Writing out your thoughts and/or feelings is one of the best ways to provide your analytical mind an outlet. Instead of “it” swirling around in your head you can write everything down in your journal and (this is the most important part) SEE what you were thinking. You see, there’s something magical about visually seeing your thoughts; because once you actually see it on paper you realize what’s driving you crazy is the actual overwhelm of rumination, not so much the thought itself.

Upon listening to a podcast recently I came across Dr. David Hanscome. He very much seems like a kindred soul.

He goes a bit further than just journaling and encourages people to either burn the pages or rip them up. The point here is to, again, visually see your thoughts disappear and recognize your thoughts are just thoughts! We feel they are real because of the chemical reaction we get once the thought is produced.

I write a lot about habituated patterns and the brain’s ability to groove familiar pathways. The more you think a thought, the more it creates an emotion, and the more you become the thought. It can be a vicious cycle but that’s not to say mindfulness, compassion, and working to activate techniques such as journaling and burning can’t turn things around so that you can gain perspective!

Even in the more spiritual realm there are rituals where around the New Moon or Full Moon people will write out what to let go of, as well as intentions, and burn the paper while offering the ashes up to the moon. Burning is not a totally new concept but that is beside the point – it can have dramatic effects for disengaging rumination and offering perspective.

Try it out! If you’re not already in the habit of journaling before bed or when you rise, try writing out 5 thoughts and burning/ripping the page. As you visually watch the page become ash or tiny pieces quietly repeat to yourself, “there goes the thought(s)”.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Joshua Newton on Unsplash