Mindfulness Archives - Page 15 of 20

The Paradise Dilemma

I’m in Seoul for some much needed family time and I told myself I would stay away from technology.. but wanted to share what I call the Paradise Dilemma. Before I get into that though can we talk about how beautiful this city is? Today I felt the first REAL day of Fall! There was a certain crispness in the air and I can tell by the way the light is hitting the trees our Earth is shifting into Autumn. It’s beautiful. Despite everything that is going on in this country the people continue to be vivacious, kind, and ever so generous…

The other day one of my closest friends happened to have an overnight layover in Seoul and it was as if the 6 months that went by without talking to one another never even existed. We walked to at an adorable cafe in Bukchon village and had the biggest serving of Jeju green tea bingsoo (shaved ice) and chatted away until it was time for our next meal!

What I love about our friendship is that we get it. Despite the sometimes worried tone of the updates the truth is we get what’s really happening – that we are held always, that we are the master of our thoughts.

That’s where the Paradise Dilemma comes into play. You see, once our basic needs are met (food, shelter, saftey) we’re in paradise and suddenly our ego believes there’s always something better and bigger leaving us in a state of continuous wonderment as to whether or not this is actually true. Some thoughts that may leave you in this dilemma can be as simple or as complex as:

Is there someone better out there? (as you are in a steady relationship)
Could I be living a more exciting life?
Is this the job I’m really meant to have?
I wish I had a better community where I am truly accepted.
And the thoughts go on and on as you can imagine…

The problem doesn’t lie in the thought itself, it’s the slightest belief in the possibility that suddenly catapults us into some better, imaginary future.

Now, this doesn’t mean things are always black and white. There’s a fine line between buying into our a egoic thoughts and tapping into our truest potential.

So what’s the difference? How can we separate the two?

It’s detachment. It’s becoming aware of when you are identified with a story (even if it’s a future story). It’s knowing you are in heaven as we speak and the present is all there is. It’s giving your best with what you have and are capable of TODAY and surrendering all outcomes to your higher self. It’s understanding these thoughts are natural and giving them even more meaning just means you are breathing life into each passing thought. It’s understanding that the more you entertain and dwell in these worried thoughts it keeps you further and further away from one simple TRUTH – that the present is all we ever really have.

And just as important, it’s recognizing that what you are chasing is a feeling and for the most part that feeling can only be controlled by you and you alone. After all, when you acquire and/or achieve X there’s only a shinier, bigger, better object in the near future right?

That’s why I am so thankful for NLP, advancements in neuroscience and mindfulness. It’s our biggest protector against our own selves; that’s how smart we are!

With that said, I’m off to go on another urban hike through the city. Here’s to enjoying what is unfolding in each and every moment and being thankful for each and every breath we take.

In wellness,

Susan

Seeking Confirmation

Why do we do that? Whether it’s out of curiosity or we want to hear something other than what we know deep down inside, it’s as if us humans have an insatiable need to constantly seek confirmation outside ourselves.

On one hand if you have a healthy mindset about it, scratching a particular itch doesn’t hurt. I often find that when you’re honed in on your own intuition and your deepest desires you always know the answer and aren’t as stressed because you already have faith in the unfoldment of what is to be. Instead, what we mistaken as confirmation are really therapeutic experiences; after all as humans we love to be in community and what better way than to share and find a tribe of people who understand what you’re going through?

Where I think it can do more harm than good is when you constantly seek confirmation without giving anyone’s opinion or advice deep thought. When you feel the need to jump from one thing to another, stop and ask yourself, “what am I seeking?” “what do I want to hear?” “what am I afraid of?” “what is the underlying emotion that is driving my actions?”

Whether you’re in one boat or the other, consider relabeling what you are seeking. Rather than seeking “confirmation”, position your thoughts to identify with this activity as a “therapeutic experience” or a “discovery session”. Whether you do this with friends, a tarot/astrology reading, therapist, or life coach, when you identify this as a self discovery process suddenly the desperation falls away. Did you feel the shift?

When we come from a place of seeking confirmation it implies a yearning for a particular goal, outcome, or indicates an illusory fear.

So the next time you feel the need to seek confirmation, take a moment to re-identify the action from seeking to discovery. It may make a world of difference and save you the stress.

And remember, you already have the answers within ?

In wellness,

Susan

How Doing Something New Can Lead To Discovering A New Side Of You

As Summer slowly comes to an end so does my experiment with clay (but not for long…).

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a deep curiosity with this art form. For better or for worse, the timing never showed it’s prime opportunity so it wasn’t until this year, 2017, where I had a chance to take the dive into learning all things clay. And boy was it AMAZING.

Getting lost in how the clay feels, structuring the slabs, to learning how to center my first piece on the wheel were only some of the highlights from this Summer. I can’t tell you the amount of burst out loud laughs erupted from the studio as I and these newfound friends shared life stories.

I’m forever a proponent of switching things up, doing something new, and re-discovering yourself all over again, and I’m so glad clay was my form of outlet this Summer.

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset — This light…

I’ve found another form of meditation and a new part of myself through clay. This will certainly be a part of my life and I can’t wait to see how this new journey unfolds.

Here’s to trying new things and going after the small inklings we feel throughout our lives, because you never know what you might discover until you find out.

In wellness,

Susan

When You’re Stuck In Fear

Oftentimes when working with clients we come across a situation, and it could be the most mundane situation, and yet the mind can’t seem to loosen it’s grip on it.

Whether it’s from a traumatizing experience, or perhaps the client is already in a stressful situation, or maybe it’s hitting a very sensitive part of the client’s soul – a part of them that needs X to feel secure and safe.

Regardless of how hard the grip is we have to remind ourselves that our brain is programmed to behave this way thanks to how smart we are and the years of repetitive Miracle Combo’ing we do.

What is the Miracle Combo? MC is when you behave in such a way that actively engages the thought with a rush of feeling & emotion throughout the body while repeating this action until it begins to groove a new path in your neural network. It’s the Miracle Combo I’ve seen work over and over again whether you use it to define a new, positive neural pathway or hard-wire a negative pathway.

But back to fear. We need to realize fear is nothing but:

a familiar state we innately have within us
a state that needs to be acknowledged, not pushed away
a state that is trying to protect us

When we objectively look at what is causing us fear, it is typically not even in present RIGHT NOW. It is typically a future state our minds wander to and gets stuck with repetitive thinking.

Fear becomes bigger in our minds because it suddenly becomes the pure focus of our attention. Remember that phrase, “what you focus on grows”? Well, it’s true. So in order for this not to get any bigger than it actually is you need to acknowledge the fearful state and accept it. Instead, what most people do is try to control the fear, not think about the fear, or fix the problem.

Thankfully there are several NLP techniques and coaching frameworks (a hyper focused awareness session is one of my favorites for calming the mind and inducing beta/theta states) to help each individual person identify what works best for them when it comes to their unique fear. For one person it may be simple as shifting their unconscious attention by way of bilateral stimulation, or perhaps it’s tapping the meridians as a way to release stuck energy, or using self hypnosis to speak to the unconscious mind.

If you’re stuck in a fearful state just know there is a way to peace. Let this be a reminder to you that your LIGHT is much bigger than any fearful thought. That your fear is nothing but a small part of you that wants to seek and be in Love. That this fear doesn’t define who you actually are.

You are light. You are divine. You are whole. You are always held by something so much greater than we can possibly imagine.

With love,

Susan.

Uncertainty Over Certainty

I was driving to one of my favorite parks yesterday when a major theme struck me: why uncertainty is a far better approach than certainty.

Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where a bit of strategy is important (like what to pack for your 5 day hiking trip, or how about making sure you do your due diligence before buying the house of your dreams?), but for the majority of our day our brains are caught up in trying to ensure certainty in EVERY moment. And that can be tiring as hell!

Not only is this tiring our minds but it’s tiring our souls. It’s not allowing for rest. When we rest we are allowing the right side of our brain to be in FLOW with our deeper selves and Mother Nature; we are allowing space for something much bigger than we possibly could have imagined.

So why not lean in? Trust the flow. Surrender. Allow yourself to let go of the worries and thoughts that actually control YOU.

Notice how much lighter you feel. How there’s space for possibility. How suddenly you aren’t filled with fear and what if’s; instead, you’re noticing your breath and how wonderful this moment really is.

Try it out. Trust me. Lean into uncertainty and remember this: you are ok and will always be ok.

Namaste,

Susan

What To Do If You’re An Empath

Do you find yourself feeling anxious, depressed, or flighty after meeting new people or being in a large group?
Do you find it hard to get rid of these emotions you didn’t necessarily feel before?
Do you oftentimes get confused as to whether or not you really feel any of this and find yourself questioning what is really going on?
Do you feel like a pendulum when it comes to emotions? Feeling all the highs and all the lows?

If you responded yes to any of the questions above it could be an indication of your empathic nature. While it’s great to feel into situations and people so quickly, what’s not great is not knowing what to do when people shed all of their energy on to you to soak up.

As an Empath, you may not know what to do when it comes to releasing what’s not yours. Or may you do know what to do but it doesn’t seem to work.

While every Empath is different from one another, I thought I’d share a few techniques that work for me. Keep in mind you may need to try these techniques a couple of times in order to get used to a new technique or perhaps find a tweak that works perfectly for YOU.

Faster EFT. If you haven’t heard of tapping find someone who can teach you or ask Google to teach you. In my case, I found it immensely helpful to learn from someone. Essentially you are tapping on major meridian points along your face and chest to release the specific emotion or thought from the situation that is causing you to feel an undesired emotion. Imagine all the negative emotion draining away from your body! It’s astonishing how quickly it works and you can apply it to just about any situation you come across, not just empathic episodes.
Grounding/Earthing. I find this to be therapeutic as well. I wrote about Tree Medicine in an earlier blog post and there are many ways to ground yourself. Energetically we are surrounded my technology and of course other people’s energy and the Earth (think of a magnet) has the ability to absorb that which you don’t need. How wonderful is Mother Nature? Plant your bare feet into the sand, dirt, or grass. Feel the waves of relaxation come over you as you feel every drop of negative energy which does not serve you seeping into the ground beneath you. It’s Mother Nature’s caring way.
Connect to the Highest Love. This is by far my favorite and most impactful. Have you ever cried without even thinking about it when something touched your heart so much? Felt the pang of deep stirring within your heart from something you saw, felt, or read? This is connecting to the Highest Love. This kind of Love is so deep and so real you suddenly realize what you are carrying isn’t even REAL. What you are trying to rationalize in your mind doesn’t even MATTER. This Highest Love, which is in all of us, doesn’t care about what just happened, all it cares about is bringing you to the TRUTH of who you are, and only you know what this Truth is. You can connect to your Highest Love in a number of ways:
- Hugging someone you deeply love and care about
- Talking to God and letting him know how much you love him/her
- Breathing deeply and getting still; knowing this Higher Love is within you always
- Doing something you absolutely love for 15 minutes (yes 15 minutes); for me it’s working with CLAY
- Last but not least any of the two suggestions above

At the end of the day don’t despair. Nothing is permanent in this world and neither are these feelings.

As humans it is our job to learn and evolve so if you’re new to your superpowers as an Empath or you’ve been on this journey and still trying to figure it out, just know you are fully capable of making positive change in your life. Surround yourself with your own network of guides and teachers, and most importantly believe change is possible.

In wellness,

Susan

Patterns That Rule Your Life

Happy Monday beautiful people!

Today I woke up inspired to share an absolute TRUTH of mine in hopes of sparking inspiration and positive change in your life starting today.

Did you know our entire lives are made up by patterns?

Yes.

Patterned Behavior. Patterned Speech. Patterned Thoughts.

If you observe carefully you will notice that without fail one of these influences the other which influences the other until it reaches full circle and there you have the predictive results of our lives.

Why is it then that we always aim to change the outcome yet fail to get the desired results?

It’s simple. We have yet to change our neural pathway for the new pattern to exist.

Thankfully, you don’t have to willpower your way through this. Whether it’s losing weight, becoming a happier person, stressing less, etc. you don’t have to grit your teeth through the process.

If you desire the change at your CORE you are already half way there. Through NLP (neuro linguistic programming), focused awareness techniques, and self hypnosis work you, yes YOU, can make a positive change and begin living your BEST LIFE.

I firmly believe we are all capable of making the change we desire. This is a crucial first step toward success.

The bigger question is, do you? If there is even a hint of yes in you then you are more than capable of making the change you desire in your life.

Have faith, do the work, be mindful of where your thoughts take you, and equally as important, hand select and surround yourself with your very own network of guides, teachers, and angels.

In wellness,

Susan

Friday Focus – 8/18/17 {Grief}

“Grief is tremendous, but LOVE is bigger. You are grieving because you Loved truly. The beauty in that is greater than the bitterness of death. Allowing this into your Consciousness will not keep you from your suffering, but it will help you survive the next day.”

~Cheryl Strayed

This quote struck a chord especially with so much grief being experienced not only in our country but oftentimes we forget other countries as well.

What I keep coming back to is how can we control our own sphere of consciousness so that we can make an even bigger difference in the world? How can we strive to act, speak, and BE from Love, our inner source, so that we can be the change we want to see in the world?

We’re human. It’s much too easy to get caught up in our heads instead of our hearts. That’s the practice. That’s where the years of work come into play. There’s where spiritual work is.

May we find Love underneath our grief, suffering, and/or frustrations.

May we always turn to Love because Love is the most strongest and biggest force of them all.

Namaste.

What Is Collaboration Really?

What would the world look like if we surrendered concepts such as “yours” and “mine”? How different would we approach each other and how much more would we collaborate?

To me, collaboration is the essence of life. It’s the surrendering of these concepts “yours” and “mine”.

It’s understanding there is a slice of pie for EVERYONE at the table. This way of collaboration implies we are ONE, like a wave in an ocean, working toward a common goal or from the same heart space.

No need for jealousy, yearning, or craving because universally what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is already yours ❤ At the end of the day we are all craving STATES, resources we all have within us, and I can guarantee we all have the ability to access these states such as love, freedom, and peace. You are already these things. No more searching or looking outside you. You are already perfect.

I’m not going to sugar coat. It takes work. It takes support. It takes know how and practicality with actual tools and frameworks. But what I am here to tell you today is that it’s possible. It’s possible because it’s already within YOU. Yes, YOU hold these resources. You already are these resources. Feel my passion yet? 😉

As Francis of Assisi would say, “The one you are looking for is the one who is looking.”

?
In wellness,
S.

Unresolved Emotions

Do you often find that unresolved emotions lead to regretful decisions?

Why is that? Well here are a few examples:

1) Anger at someone > “I’ll show him/her!” > Send hasty email
2) Anxiety, depression > Escapism > Open pint of ice cream
3) Regret, shame > Need to fix > Run 5 miles
4) Frustration, angst, sadness > Need to get it off your chest > Call friend in a heated moment, say the wrong things
5) Guilt > Need to fix > Over compensate or over commit to something you, deep down, don’t want to do

I don’t know about you but I have certainly found myself in a number of these situations before… and then I realized there was a key step in-between the emotion and the decision:

SELF AWARENESS / MINDFULNESS / SURRENDER / GOD / COMPASSION

Call it what you need to fit into your framework but for simplicity’s sake let’s call it Awareness.

When you have the awareness right **after** the emotion begins and right **before** the decision THAT is all you need to step back for just a moment.

And in that stepping back can you just sit with the emotion? Where is it in your body? Can you drop into it? What is it really trying to tell you?

Take a moment or two, heck take a week if you must! Take as long as you need until you feel good about your decision and know you aren’t trying to avoid the feeling. We seem to be good at that as we humans evolved.

Last but not least, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it each and every time! For some it comes easy and for others it requires a bit more practice, mindfulness, and/or guidance. But but know this: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are everything you need to be and everything is unfolding in your divine order.

In wellness.