Starting With Inquiry

I wanted to talk today about the power of inquiry.

Have you ever noticed that when you begin with inquiry people pay attention? And when this inquiry is self directed, you begin to pay attention as well?

Typical statements, commentary, and self talk is, well, just that – typical. It’s expected and it’s on auto pilot. So much so that it becomes habituated. Even the responses become habituated!

But when we start by inquiring, “the beginner’s mind”, as it is known in Zen Buddhist traditions, we are met with qualities such as awe, curiosity, and wonder. And this positive resonance has a deep impact in how we approach the very thing we are dealing with, whether in the outside world or our very own inside world.

Inquiry allows for possibility.

To inquire means there is a curiosity in getting to know something or someone. It means you are open to learning. And this is beautiful.

When we approach with inquiry we are more open than ever. We begin to see things we never would have seen. We begin to feel things we never would have felt.

As an experiment, try it today! Whether it is with a difficult emotion you are encountering or headed into work and seeing old & new co-workers, start with inquiry. See what comes up before your brain goes on auto-pilot. Ask yourself:

  • What’s new here?
  • Why am I feeling this way?
  • Why am I thinking this way?
  • What can I learn from this?
  • Is there anything else I can learn from this?
  • With assumption X, can I know this to be absolutely true? (ref, Byron Katie)

And watch what happens. Observe the response, and even in the response inquire even more.

You see, when we inquire we not only allow for possibilities and higher resonating qualities within us, we are, as a byproduct, being mindful of what is in front of us as well as what actually arises.

Here’s to a bit more inquiry in our lives and seeing what newness unfolds.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Cody Davis on Unsplash

 

Following The Emotional Breadcrumb

Oftentimes it’s easy to run away from our emotions. In this day and age, it’s almost too easy to numb out.

Whether that’s picking up the phone and checking Instagram or Facebook, reaching for the bag of chips, or turning on Netflix and binge watch a whole season of GOT. The options are a many.

And while it may seem scary to actually face the demons, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do in order to see what’s really under the covers.

Remember when you were a little kid and you ran into your parent’s bedroom saying you couldn’t sleep because there was a monster under the bed, or maybe in the closet? Then your parents (or heck, maybe you even did it yourself!) would walk you back into the room and lift the covers or open the closet? There was nothing there and you faced your demons, the so called monster.

Facing our emotions takes work, but it’s the work we must do in order to integrate ourselves fully.

When we turn toward our emotions and follow the breadcrumbs of this feeling and that feeling, we begin peeling the layers of the onion and truly understanding ourselves on a deeper level. We may discover the true reason for our emotion was actually something completely different than the situation itself! We may even discover a limiting belief causing such pain on an conscious level.

Can we trust and love ourselves during this time? Can we maybe turn side ways the first time and gently feel into it so that next time we can turn the whole way into the depths of our emotions?

And no matter the answer – may we trust and love, just a little more, where we are in this moment.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/19/18 {The Photographer’s Lens}

Photography is very big in my life. I love capturing the beautiful soul I see during portrait sessions, and particularly love the special family moments, the in between as I like to call it, during family sessions. While I don’t do nearly as many sessions as I used to years ago, I still love it when old clients ask for updated photos.

Earlier this week I was noticing how, as humans, it’s incredibly easy to focus on the minutiae. Our focus tends to be on ONE thing, and when I say ONE thing, it’s hyper focused on that subject and moves on to the next when we feel like we’ve resolved (aka controlled) it in some way or another.

And I thought to myself, what if we zoomed out?

How much of this precious life, this day, this landscape are we missing by zooming in? What if we took a step back (for those of you that are used to primes) and saw the bigger picture? Just how much meaning of the bigger picture does this “one” thing end up having?

Oftentimes we forget. We forget how much grandeur, mystery, beauty, and synchronicity there is to life.

We forget just how much beauty there is everywhere, including our own selves.

Can we zoom out today? And begin to appreciate the bigger picture? What other beautiful mysteries might we be missing?

I hope we find out.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Alvaro Araujo Alcalde on Unsplash

The Placebo Effect & The Power Of The Mind

Placebos. Do you believe them?

Regardless of the validity of placebos, this post on the New York Times shed some incredible light on the power of the mind. And it made me think and affirm, truly how powerful is our mind?

This is how powerful: we can see a different reality just by changing our emotional state. Have you ever felt depressed or downright angry, then you hear good news and suddenly it’s as if you couldn’t remember why or how such a thing could have caused you to be so depressed or angry?

Our minds are powerful. Beliefs are powerful.

Placebos aside, the general idea around what you choose to believe in (therefore allowing yourself to feel good or bad depending on choice) is certainly something to inquire.

I’ve written on this before and have seen it come down to this time and time again – if our actions and reactions are like branches of a tree, then our core beliefs running the direction of these branches are the roots of the tree. What underlying, fundamental beliefs about you and your life are running the show on an unconscious level?

The beauty in all this is choice. After awareness, reconciliation, and practice, we have the choice to build a better life. And guess what? We’re beautiful humans, so this means we have the rest of our lives to constantly grow and shine brighter each and every day.

After all, it’s the journey right?

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash

You Must Desire Change For Change To Take Place

I admit – I’m a podcast junkie. Wait, I’m an information junkie.

Anytime there’s a car ride somewhere I’m most likely listening to a podcast, expanding my perspective and knowledge on anything from biographies, entrepreneurship, spirituality, yoga, marketing, and so much more. And in my spare time reading on any of the mentioned topics as well!

The other day I was listening to a talk on marketing and they were explaining techniques on how to grab a potential client’s attention in order to get in front of them, especially in this day and age where people’s attention are so limited (or so that is how time is perceived).

While I understood where and how this technique can be useful, in my line of work I realized this particular technique only works if one thing is already present… and that is – the person’s utmost desire to change and whether they have an open mind.

At the end of the day the person themselves must desire the change so much they see all and each of their endeavors & experiments as a step toward the change they seek.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it takes persuasion or the right words to instigate the change but the core desire must come from within. That way even if the product or service did not work 100% the outcome is a learning mechanism or viewed as a positive experience due to its other tangential benefits.

Before I close the post I wanted to touch on one of these tangential benefits – serendipity, fate, or how your life can change completely, whatever you want to call it, it’s happened to me many times. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was intrigued and fascinated at how our minds can be so malleable. How in the right circumstance, time, and moment our entire perspective on life can shift. This was the power of NLP and I wanted to learn more.

So I went down the path of reading and listening to all things NLP. However, being the type of person I am I wanted to learn directly from someone who has a greater knowledge and depth around this subject rather than trying to piece meal information together on my own. I needed to learn how it worked and why.

I found someone who I thought would be perfect.

Fast forward some time later, I quickly realized I needed more. It wasn’t enough.

Long story short, I eventually found someone who would then recommend me to their teacher and my mind was BLOWN.

You see, sometimes you need to follow the breadcrumbs. Was I slightly disappointed by the first experience? Sure. But I remember thanking the experience. I remember telling myself that there had to have been a reason and that something later on would confirm this was meant to be.

And I was right. Had I not encountered that first experience I would have never met people who would become good friends in the industry nor would I have gone truly deep enough to incorporate this life changing modality into my own work.

I still continue to immerse myself in the world of NLP. #nerdalert

So there you have it. True desire for change must come from within in order for change to take place. It will be this deep knowing that allows you to know whether or not you’ve made the change or to thank the experience and look for what it is you need.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/12/18 {The Glasses We Wear}

I’ve been thinking about the glasses we wear during different moments of our lives. And no, I don’t mean reading glasses… I’m talking about the metaphoric glasses we wear on a constant basis. The glasses we wear the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

These glasses are what filters the world for what our brain ends up seeing, and it all begins with YOU.

Oftentimes we feel or think a certain way (our glasses) the moment we wake up, and we mistake this to be “just who we are” or because of our recent situation in our lives.

Contrary to what you might believe, it doesn’t stem from an outside situation or a sense that you believe you are the way you are (especially if you desire to feel and experience something differently!).

YOU get to decide which glasses you want to wear!

For example, while there are plenty of moments we need to be more serious, analytical, and diagnostic, we often lose track and forget to have fun with life! We forget to take the glasses off.

If you resonate with the above example ask yourself these questions:

From what moment do I begin to feel serious? How often do I play and test with life or even my ideas? Am I putting too much pressure on myself to make everything perfect and not allowing things to magically unfold? Can I look at a situation with lightness and realize we are here to truly live from our hearts and experience joy?

This week’s theme is all around the glasses we wear, and I implore you to ask yourself, “What are the glasses I wear 80% of the time? What do I want to feel more of? What glasses do I need to wear to feel said quality?”, and practice visualizing yourself waking up (or throughout the day) wearing the glasses you need. After all, you never know what you just might be missing…

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Matheus Vinicius on Unsplash

Embodying Your Intentions & Taking One Small Step

There’s always something about the first few weeks of the new year that makes it special. You’re still in awe of how the last year flew by, and in a way, motivated to make the most out of this one. I know I certainly am.

While most traditions call for new year resolutions I’ve become a believer of setting intentions instead. Why? Because intentions inherently focus on the positive qualities we want to imbue, not the “thing” we must strive for (aka resolutions).

Now the exception to this rule is if you are the type of person that absolutely gets pumped over resolutions.

No seriously! I can’t stress enough how important it is to know thy self. No one can tell you what’s right and wrong for you – only you know what works, and yes, while this evolves over time as you do – only you can know what’s right for you in any moment when you truly connect with your deepest self.

After you’ve set your intention, imagine how it would feel to embody those qualities of said intention by asking yourself these powerful questions:

  • What qualities do you need to feel good carrying out your intention? List as many as you can.
  • What sensations and/or emotions do you feel?
  • Where in your body do you feel them? Describe every detail of how it feels!
  • How do you perceive the world differently? What’s changed specifically?
  • What does your voice sound like when you are interacting with others?
  • What would it look like in your actions/interactions with others? What are the differences in how you view yourself?

And of course, the pivotal question to get you started – what is the one small step you can take for yourself?

Whether it’s:

  • lighting a candle to start a personal QT (quality time) practice
  • flossing your two front teeth
  • setting an alarm to meditate for ONE minute
  • preparing ONE healthy meal for yourself during the week
  • praising ONE person during the week to help elevate another person
  • taking 5 deep breaths a day to start a breathing practice
  • drinking ONE tall glass of water during the day

Do you see how taking one small step allows for easy, quick accomplishments? This rewards the brain center and suddenly any blocks or fears around whether or not the “goal” is truly achievable lessens with every small win.

Whenever I want to incorporate a new aspect into my lifestyle this is exactly what I do.

  1. First, I meditate on what it is I truly want. Rather than focusing on a certain goal, I focus on my intention. What is the deeper meaning behind incorporating this into my life?
  2. I then look at the qualities of what it is I want to incorporate. Is it more love? peace? joy? strength? determination?
  3. I look to the one small step I can take to make it an easy win
  4. Repeat step 3 🙂

If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to take a deep review of what it is you truly want more of in your life this year. Often times, you may even notice your qualities end up being your intention and that is OK as well!

Here’s to the turtle that always wins the race 🙂

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Samuel Clara on Unsplash

 

Doing The Unexpected To Shift Perspective

Oftentimes when we find ourselves in a lower state, a mix of emotions that aren’t useful and have been in your mind space for long enough that it doesn’t serve you, we get stuck in a rut.

Why is that? Well, for one, all it takes it 90 seconds to lessen the stronghold of a particular emotion. It passes after 90 seconds. However, most people are so ardently focused on what’s wrong that those 90 seconds are far and few between.

So what can you do to shift your perspective? For one, change your environment. Get out of the house, take a 30 minute break from your office, and most importantly – DO SOMETHING NEW.

The most efficient way to shift your perspective is to do the unexpected.

  • If something happened in the morning, try taking a new route to work.
  • If something happened at work, try taking a break by ordering coffee at a new coffee shop you’ve never been to.
  • In general try visiting a new park and taking a stroll discovering new sights and sounds that nature has to offer.
  • Or go on a mini adventure doing something new (let’s say, visiting a pet shelter, trying stand-up paddle boarding for the first time, buying coffee for the person behind you, etc.) to shift your experience completely!

And the bottom line? The possibilities are endless and the power is in your hands.

So think bright my friends! You’ll be amazed at how the world looks so different when we do the unexpected and shift our perspective in a matter of minutes.

And of course, let’s not forget, if this is a deep and recurring emotion and/or situation we must address the root and do the work.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Alejandro Alvarez on Unsplash

What You Believe You See

“The liberation of your mind comes from the following principle: reality always depends on how you perceive it. Learn to perceive it more usefully and your life will transform.”

~Owen Fitzpatrick

In wellness,

Susan

Image by Steve Coffey

How Does Your Life Reflect Your Beliefs?

“All that we are is the result of our thoughts.”

~Buddha

If our life is a culmination of actions and reactions we took upon ourselves, where are we now and do we like it?

If not, can we take an honest assessment of what we don’t like about our life and inspect what actions and/or reactions led us here? What was the underlying belief (or lack of) that initiated certain actions and reactions?

When we do the work to understand our self, we can begin to understand what needs to be changed and whether or not we are ready and willing to make that change.

This is how true desired change can occur. Most people desire change all the time and it’s beautiful how as humans we get to experience desire! However, without first understanding our self we cannot get to true desired change nor can we know whether or not this desire is good for us.

So here’s to doing the work and understanding ourselves at the deepest level so that we may up-level our lives for our highest good.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Miguel Salgado on Unsplash