Overcome Your Fears Archives

Seattle Public Speaking and Anxiety Coach

The Art Of Public Speaking

Who doesn’t have to speak in public?

No really, if you think about it… we all have to engage in some form of public speaking on a daily basis.

But what if you have to speak publicly for a living?

What if you need to present to the C-Suite on a weekly basis?

What if you need to talk with and encourage and motivate your team members on a DAILY basis?

I came across this wonderful book, The Art of Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie and Joseph Berg Esenwein, and I had to share some of my golden nuggets.

While it doesn’t compare to reading the book… it might bring you some insights as you prepare to go into your next meeting later today or even this week. Here it is:

It is sheer egotism to fill your mind with thoughts of self when the greater thing is there – truth.
If the theater caught fire you could rush the stage and shout directions to the audience without any self-consciousness, for the importance of what you were saying would drive all fear thoughts out of your mind.
Have the first few sentences worked out completely so that you may not be troubled in the beginning to find words. Know your subject better than your hearers know it, and you have nothing to fear.
Overconfidence is bad, but to tolerate premonitions of failure is worse.
If you believe you will fail, there is no hope for you. You will.
Rid yourself of this “I am a poor worm in the dust idea”. You are a god, with infinite capabilities. “All things are ready if the mind be so.”

Take a deep breath, relax, and begin in the quiet conversational tone as though you were speaking to one large friend.
The bravest no fear, but they do not yield to it.
In your audience slice some victory for you and the cause you represent. Go with it.

and this is the one I love the most:

And remember that your audience is infinitely more important than you, the truth is more important than the both of you, because it is eternal.

Sure there are the jitters, but the jitters only get worse because of the story you are telling yourself in your mind.

Get good and telling the truth, and then you become unstoppable.

In wellness,

Susan

What We All Have In Common

I know some pretty amazing successful people, the kind of people that drive fancy cars, own big businesses and seem to have it all. And I also know people that are, well, regular people.

But you know what we all have in common? Doubt.

We all have those mornings where we wake up wondering what the heck we are doing.

We wake up wondering am I on the right path.

We wake up fearing what we are going to do that day because we know it’s beyond our Edge.

We wake up depressed wondering why we are feeling the way that we do.

And I’m here to tell you that you are not the only one feeling these feelings.

These are experiences that we have because we are human. As long as we’re here on Earth we’re going to feel all the feels. And it’s up to you on how you want to transform this feeling, because it’s going to come back, and it’s how you think about what it means that is going to make or break you.

You’re not special for having these feelings, because everybody is special and has these feelings. You’re not the only one, nor are you weird for feeling these feelings.

There is nothing wrong with you there is everything right about you. So don’t let something like a feeling be in your way. Go out there and be big.

In wellness,

Susan

Susan Choi is an Integrative Life Coach and helps people experiencing deep adrenal fatigue and other auto-immune illness manage their recovery by focusing on optimizing their mental state. Learn a mental meta-model aimed at breaking down old mental patterns and behaviors so that you can finally tap into your own personal power.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Change Starts With You

No matter how much knowledge we have accumulated there will never be a “right” time than now. Start stepping toward your dream life now.

Do the change. No one else will do it for you.

Because who better to do it than you?

In wellness,

Susan

Susan is a Life Coach based in Seattle, WA. Her main focus is to coach people build a strong emotional container so that we can experience the fullness of life coming from a place of deep confidence. Susan also coaches clients looking to heal adrenal fatigue by using a mental meta-model aimed at breaking down old mental patterns and behaviors so that we can finally tap into our own personal power.

Friday Focus – 6/22/18 {The One Word That Indicates You Have A Limiting Belief}

We’ve all been there before, limiting beliefs and all, because we’re only human, right? But you know what? Whether we like it or not, it’s in our evolution to break free from old patterns and continue to grow – it’s how we’re wired.

I get it, oftentimes it can be hard to separate truth from illusion. Sometimes we’re so deep in the thick of things it REALLY DOES seems as if we’re incapable of going after what we want.

I’m here to tell you it IS possible, but first, we need to identify when those limiting beliefs start to creep into our thoughts and penetrate our lives.

A very effective and easy way to identify a limiting belief is by catching one word:

BUT

Yeah…BUT

Do you already see the ways in which the words that follow “but” can seem so true, yet doesn’t serve you? Here are a few examples:

…but I’m just not wired that way
…but s/he was born with those gifts, I wasn’t
…yeah, but it won’t work for me
…but my body type won’t let me lose these last 5 pounds
…but I’m too old to start something new

Honestly, the list can go on and on!

The good news is you have a mindful way of catching yourself, and as you do, make sure you aren’t judging the thought or yourself. The point isn’t to replace the “but” thought with another negative, judgmental thought!

Words are strong, watch what you say in passing.

Now is the time more than ever to deeply inquire with curiosity and compassion at what the root of your limiting belief is. Notice how your limiting beliefs hold you back from what you truly want out of life.

Remember, thoughts create action but if you have a limiting thought you can’t rely on a miracle to get you what you truly desire.

If it’s too hard to go the 180 from a limiting belief to a positive belief, try going to a neutral belief.

For example, if your limiting belief is, “I can’t stand my body”, and your positive belief statement is, “I love my body”, but you don’t find yourself completely believing it, try focusing on, “I have a body”.

The more you practice the neutral, bridging the thought the more you create capacity in your brain for better, positive thoughts that actually get you the results you want.

We all have limiting beliefs but they are truly a gift in disguise, because they point us toward what we really want.

In wellness,

Susan

3 Signs You’re A People Pleaser

We’ve all done it before whether we want to admit it or not – people pleasing. Likely it comes from a deep primitive yearning for survival; after all, if you weren’t seen as part of the pack, you didn’t belong to the community and that meant you needed to fend for yourself – food, shelter, love, and all.

However, when we cultivate our own intrinsic worth there’s no need to people please because we already know what we like, don’t like, and what our boundaries are. Suddenly agreeing to something you don’t want to do, or feeling the need to apologize all the time falls out the window.

So, what are the signs of people pleasing?

You spend a lot of time thinking about someone else
- How much you spend your time thinking about what to say, do, act, or even wear before meeting this person (or group of people) is an early warning sign of people pleasing. Ask yourself, what is the underlying need for all this attention toward someone else’s acceptance? What does this mean if I don’t get “it” right?
Your feelings are hurt when someone ignores you or doesn’t show affection toward you
- It’s impossible for everyone to like you because everyone is worried about their own selves! Ask yourself why you get hurt when people don’t respond or react the way you want them to. What would it mean if someone didn’t like you? Often there’s a deeper limiting belief behind the negative emotion.
You say yes to things you don’t want to do
- Unfortunately when you continue to say yes to the things that don’t align with who you are or your deeper values, you end up in a puddle of resentment. Ask yourself what it means every time you say yes. What would you gain by saying yes? What would it mean if you said no?

The bottom line is: it’s impossible for everyone to like you, so why not start with YOU?

Ask yourself the questions under each of the headers above and answer truthfully. You will find it all comes down to rejection, fear, and the need to feel accepted.

But what if you could give the very thing you need to yourself instead of looking for it outside of you?

Once you realize there’s a shorter, more pain free way to acceptance, you will begin to live a life full of freedom and choice. Oh, and a lot more time 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Your Imagination: How Often Do You Use It?

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

~Albert Einstein

A little inspiration on this beautiful Monday morning!

Could we ever have imagined a life where letters would come from a screen? Where you can punch a few numbers and contact your mom in less than 2 seconds? Where you can see virtual pictures of anywhere in the world through a tiny screen in your hand? Where you can press a button and have whatever you want delivered to your doorstep in a few hours?

Our brains do such a good job of keeping a record of our capabilities based on past results, but it also does a good job of keeping you exactly where you are because it’s safe.

In the past, we needed to be safe. Safe from lions, safe from starvation, safe from blistering cold weather.

Now? Now we know better yet our brains haven’t evolved with our pre-frontal cortex.

So, how are YOU using your imagination to dream big? What NEW frontiers are you asking of yourself so that you can grow and evolve to a bigger, better version of you?

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Rapid Healing From Anything

With adrenal fatigue I mentioned that true, rapid healing came with letting go; with accepting the situation and beginning to notice all the joy that was present in my life. Another way to put it, to surrender to life and say aloud, “You know what? I don’t even care anymore. I’m going to live life with this and make the most of it anyway.”

Ironically, the moment I did that I started to heal. Or maybe… I began to see my life the way it already was – full of magic.

Recently I became reacquainted of this very principle and realized, whether it’s adrenal fatigue or any other situation that is causing immense discomfort in your life, this very act of surrendering is the very key to introducing rapid healing into your life.

No matter what you are going through, for one second, one breath, remember there are other things happening aside from whatever it is you spend 90% of your day thinking about and wishing could be different.

In that one breath you begin to notice the stillness. The joy. The little moments. The birds. The trees swaying with the rhythm of the wind. You begin to notice life is much MORE than that one thing we so wish to change. And that life was always filled with this magic – we were just too busy with our discomfort to notice.

When we take that moment and begin to notice life outside of the discomfort, we begin to allow for space. This space will prove to be your best friend because you realize the more you give into this space, the more freedom you have from the stickiness of just how real that discomfort it.

Now what I just implied can be interpreted as, “the discomfort isn’t real”, but what I’m trying to say is oftentimes, it is our thought or relationship to the discomfort that is causing the MOST pain.

Funny how our brains operate isn’t it? This is why I believe mindfulness and coaching is so important. Sanity is everything!

So, what does that one breath represent to you? What do you notice when you step back and notice the little things?

Here’s to more space and a better relationship with our discomfort.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Sarah Dorweiler on Unsplash

Patterns That Run Our Self

“Breaking the chains of your self involves learning how you imprison yourself through your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings and discovering had to change them and set yourself free.”

~Owen Fitzpatrick

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Raw Pixel

A Seattle Community of Sisterhood

For the past 6 months I have felt a deep calling to create community, a sisterhood, here in Seattle.

This deep desire would grow then fade depending on how many projects I had going on as well as managing my travel schedule. One big deterrent from starting this community was location; I had no idea what 2018 would look like and would ask myself questions such as, “Would it even be worth it to me or others not knowing whether Life would take me outside of Seattle in 2018?”.

Until earlier this month (December), I knew deep down that this desire was calling and it wouldn’t stop.

The need to guide, connect, and be the Seer for anyone who needed it was a strong enough risk for me to take.

And I know deep down I would be the one who’s heart is filled and brimming with gratitude and love at everyone’s willingness, honesty, and own respect for their journey and desire for connection.

So with that said, be on the look out for more details! I’ll be creating an official channel via MeetUp where I will post 1:1 coaching session dates, Moon Circles, community gatherings, and much more.

I can’t wait to connect.

In community,

Susan

Photo by Cristina Cerda on Unsplash

Are You Giving Away Your Power?

Are you? Are you aware of how often you give away your very own power? Are you aware that your power is limitless and no matter how empty you feel, you can feel on top of the world in an instant?

When we aren’t conscious about it, we give away our power in so. many. ways.

Case in point:

Someone is rude to you and you feel offended. I mean, how could they?!
You’re trying to make a coffee order and the server treats you halfheartedly while smiling enthusiastically at someone else. Really?
The customer service rep doesn’t seem to respect your situation. I can’t even…
Your boss/client says something in passing and you can’t seem to stop thinking about what they said. What’s wrong with me? Am I a failure?
It’s a month into your new diet and the scale doesn’t seem to agree. Why do I feel like a loser?
A beautiful, young woman seems to have everything going for her while you happen to be in your rumpy old work out clothes. Don’t go there, don’t go there…

While these may not all apply to you, the point of the examples above was to reflect the ways in which we give away our power so easily. To others, to objects, and yes, even that small anxious voice in our very own heads.

The first step in harnessing our own power is simple yet requires training and discipline.

It’s self realization.

Have you actually tried to count the ways you give away your power in a single day. I bet you’d be surprised at what comes up 😉

Try it! Set an alarm each hour and track the moments of the past 60 minutes in which you felt annoyed, depressed, stressed, or worried. At the end of the day, you may notice an overarching theme or two… or three.

You see, most of the “why’s” in which we give away our power stems from old beliefs or anchored fears. What do I mean by that? Here are a few examples:

I’m never good enough
People don’t respect me
What if I don’t make it?
I’m not loveable
I’m emotionally weak
I appear to be too powerful
People don’t listen to me
I get sick too easily
People always seem to leave me
I’m “fat” or I’m “too skinny”

This list can go on forever… that’s how smart and powerful our minds are. If we aren’t careful we can be chasing this wild rabbit for YEARS.

I can’t tell you enough how many people begin to expand their own awareness once they realize what their overarching themes are.

Once you realize what old beliefs and anchored fears are holding you back you begin to step OUT of the story and IN to your own power.

For the most deeply rooted fears and limiting beliefs there are several techniques that can be used to help offset the years of patterned behavior which I hope to write about soon. But for now, try the 24 hour journal. Get to know your self in a way that will change your life forever.

In wellness,

Susan

And I’m here to tell you that you are not the only one feeling these feelings.

Never miss an announcement!

Never miss an announcement!

If it’s too hard to go the 180 from a limiting belief to a positive belief, try going to a neutral belief.

Never Miss an Announcement!

The bottom line is: it’s impossible for everyone to like you, so why not start with YOU?

Never Miss an Announcement!

So, how are YOU using your imagination to dream big? What NEW frontiers are you asking of yourself so that you can grow and evolve to a bigger, better version of you?

It’s self realization.