Personal Development Archives - Page 11 of 12

You Must Desire Change For Change To Take Place

I admit – I’m a podcast junkie. Wait, I’m an information junkie.

Anytime there’s a car ride somewhere I’m most likely listening to a podcast, expanding my perspective and knowledge on anything from biographies, entrepreneurship, spirituality, yoga, marketing, and so much more. And in my spare time reading on any of the mentioned topics as well!

The other day I was listening to a talk on marketing and they were explaining techniques on how to grab a potential client’s attention in order to get in front of them, especially in this day and age where people’s attention are so limited (or so that is how time is perceived).

While I understood where and how this technique can be useful, in my line of work I realized this particular technique only works if one thing is already present… and that is – the person’s utmost desire to change and whether they have an open mind.

At the end of the day the person themselves must desire the change so much they see all and each of their endeavors & experiments as a step toward the change they seek.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it takes persuasion or the right words to instigate the change but the core desire must come from within. That way even if the product or service did not work 100% the outcome is a learning mechanism or viewed as a positive experience due to its other tangential benefits.

Before I close the post I wanted to touch on one of these tangential benefits – serendipity, fate, or how your life can change completely, whatever you want to call it, it’s happened to me many times. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was intrigued and fascinated at how our minds can be so malleable. How in the right circumstance, time, and moment our entire perspective on life can shift. This was the power of NLP and I wanted to learn more.

So I went down the path of reading and listening to all things NLP. However, being the type of person I am I wanted to learn directly from someone who has a greater knowledge and depth around this subject rather than trying to piece meal information together on my own. I needed to learn how it worked and why.

I found someone who I thought would be perfect.

Fast forward some time later, I quickly realized I needed more. It wasn’t enough.

Long story short, I eventually found someone who would then recommend me to their teacher and my mind was BLOWN.

You see, sometimes you need to follow the breadcrumbs. Was I slightly disappointed by the first experience? Sure. But I remember thanking the experience. I remember telling myself that there had to have been a reason and that something later on would confirm this was meant to be.

And I was right. Had I not encountered that first experience I would have never met people who would become good friends in the industry nor would I have gone truly deep enough to incorporate this life changing modality into my own work.

I still continue to immerse myself in the world of NLP. #nerdalert

So there you have it. True desire for change must come from within in order for change to take place. It will be this deep knowing that allows you to know whether or not you’ve made the change or to thank the experience and look for what it is you need.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/12/18 {The Glasses We Wear}

I’ve been thinking about the glasses we wear during different moments of our lives. And no, I don’t mean reading glasses… I’m talking about the metaphoric glasses we wear on a constant basis. The glasses we wear the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

These glasses are what filters the world for what our brain ends up seeing, and it all begins with YOU.

Oftentimes we feel or think a certain way (our glasses) the moment we wake up, and we mistake this to be “just who we are” or because of our recent situation in our lives.

Contrary to what you might believe, it doesn’t stem from an outside situation or a sense that you believe you are the way you are (especially if you desire to feel and experience something differently!).

YOU get to decide which glasses you want to wear!

For example, while there are plenty of moments we need to be more serious, analytical, and diagnostic, we often lose track and forget to have fun with life! We forget to take the glasses off.

If you resonate with the above example ask yourself these questions:

From what moment do I begin to feel serious? How often do I play and test with life or even my ideas? Am I putting too much pressure on myself to make everything perfect and not allowing things to magically unfold? Can I look at a situation with lightness and realize we are here to truly live from our hearts and experience joy?

This week’s theme is all around the glasses we wear, and I implore you to ask yourself, “What are the glasses I wear 80% of the time? What do I want to feel more of? What glasses do I need to wear to feel said quality?”, and practice visualizing yourself waking up (or throughout the day) wearing the glasses you need. After all, you never know what you just might be missing…

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Matheus Vinicius on Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/5/18 {Magic Of The Unknown}

Happy first Friday of 2018!

With the holidays having come to a close it’s certainly been hard to say “see you later” to family members and friends alike, but having said that I am earnestly looking forward to what unfolds for this upcoming year.

You see, there’s something special about surrendering to the magic of the unknown… to watch the unfoldment of a beautiful, divine orchestration… that’s magic.

That’s not to say hard work and setting intentions around the areas of desired change fly out the window. Far from it! Rather, it’s the tone in which these efforts are carried out that make all the difference.

With surrender there is a lightness to how you move, do, say, BE. It allows for possibility, flexibility, and perhaps an unknown angle that might have escaped you had you kept your focus narrow on specific goals.

When we surrender the outcome and watch what unfolds, we are being mindful of our desires. We are being mindful of our actions & reactions. We are being mindful in hopes that we can see clearly enough to take the next step.

So here’s to allowing more magic into our lives. The twists and turns that life takes us through can be a beautiful journey, not a burden. May we surrender to the magic of the unknown…

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Matt Quinn on Unsplash

How Does Your Life Reflect Your Beliefs?

“All that we are is the result of our thoughts.”

~Buddha

If our life is a culmination of actions and reactions we took upon ourselves, where are we now and do we like it?

If not, can we take an honest assessment of what we don’t like about our life and inspect what actions and/or reactions led us here? What was the underlying belief (or lack of) that initiated certain actions and reactions?

When we do the work to understand our self, we can begin to understand what needs to be changed and whether or not we are ready and willing to make that change.

This is how true desired change can occur. Most people desire change all the time and it’s beautiful how as humans we get to experience desire! However, without first understanding our self we cannot get to true desired change nor can we know whether or not this desire is good for us.

So here’s to doing the work and understanding ourselves at the deepest level so that we may up-level our lives for our highest good.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by Miguel Salgado on Unsplash

You Are More Than A Label

It’s interesting how our whole world is into categorization. For example:

Man/Woman
Parent/Non-Parent
Expatriate/Local
Religious/Atheist
Job (and which job is huge)
Single/Taken
And the list can go on forever…

Hey, I get it, somewhere in our brains we need categorization so we can put this new data in the archives and go about our lives. But somewhere along the lines we got too involved in the story of all these labels – with others and ourselves.

We began to identify too closely with the so called meaning behind what it means to be X.

But who are you really and what does X matter?

Does X make you a better, happier person?

If being a doctor meant you would have success and happiness everyone would be a doctor. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. It doesn’t mean there aren’t successful and happy doctors but the truth of the matter is, it’s what’s INSIDE that makes you who truly you are and everything else is subjective – it’s someone’s personal experience and opinion on X and IT’S ALL DIFFERENT depending on who you talk to.

Regardless of the label and it’s seemingly endless meanings given by any one person, only YOU control what you ultimately feel on the INSIDE. No one can go inside and make you feel or not feel anything.

So for a moment pause and reflect. Ask yourself this question, “Who am I without X label(s)?”.

Perhaps it’s the first time you seriously asked or contemplated this question. The answer may come right away or it may come over several days – the form doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you started to inquire within and are taking one step closer to understanding your deeper, truer self.

And trust me, even if you’re well seasoned in your awareness of labels it’s always a good opportunity to reflect on the question above. After all, we’re all human 🙂

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash

Your True Light

“Only the light within us is real. We are not afraid of the dark without ourselves, so much as we are afraid of the light. The dark is familiar. It’s what we know. The light, the thought that we might indeed be good enough, is such a thread to the ego that it takes out its very big guns to defend against it. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…”

~Marianne Williamson

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Rhett Wesley on Unsplash

Using The Breath To Transform Difficult Emotions

In a previous post we talked about how to love every situation, even the bad ones. In this post I’ll dig into one important step we can take when our immediate, strong reaction is to turn away and ignore these tough situations.

For the times when we want to straight run away and ignore certain emotions such as anger, hurt, sadness, jealousy, etc., we need to deploy one thing – our breath.

Using our breath to “digest” these emotions will help us from turning away, to turning IN.

It’s said in indigenous Peruvian shamanic/spiritual culture that elders would guide people to push the emotion down to the stomach and breath through it in order to digest and work through tough emotions.

I discovered this Peruvian practice after implementing this breath work for myself and wasn’t surprised at all to find out! Especially with deeply similar practices from other traditions such as those from Yoga, Buddhism, and even the Whim Hoff method of breath work!

Clearly there’s a reason why breath is such a powerful tool to bringing us back to our essence. Our true “self” amidst the harshest of emotions.

The next time you find yourself wanting to turn away take a moment, wherever you are, to BREATHE.

Breathe as heavy, fast, and as loudly as you need to and focus on turning inward. Really look at what you are digesting and allow the breath to do the work. Be with every breath as you discover and unfold the workings of the emotion.

Toward the end of the session (anywhere from 5-15 minutes) you’ll discover that you allowed the emotion to pass, or at least lessen a significant degree, and likely have uncovered a new finding about yourself. Whether that’s more mindfulness, awareness of true self, a deeper capacity to forgive, more love, etc., there will be an empowering shift within you.

So here’s to the first thing we ever did as humans – breathe, and to give thanks toward this life giving practice of breath work.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Eli DeFaria on Unsplash

A Seattle Community of Sisterhood

For the past 6 months I have felt a deep calling to create community, a sisterhood, here in Seattle.

This deep desire would grow then fade depending on how many projects I had going on as well as managing my travel schedule. One big deterrent from starting this community was location; I had no idea what 2018 would look like and would ask myself questions such as, “Would it even be worth it to me or others not knowing whether Life would take me outside of Seattle in 2018?”.

Until earlier this month (December), I knew deep down that this desire was calling and it wouldn’t stop.

The need to guide, connect, and be the Seer for anyone who needed it was a strong enough risk for me to take.

And I know deep down I would be the one who’s heart is filled and brimming with gratitude and love at everyone’s willingness, honesty, and own respect for their journey and desire for connection.

So with that said, be on the look out for more details! I’ll be creating an official channel via MeetUp where I will post 1:1 coaching session dates, Moon Circles, community gatherings, and much more.

I can’t wait to connect.

In community,

Susan

Photo by Cristina Cerda on Unsplash

How Your Focus Can Change Everything

We all have heard the phrase, what you focus on expands. But really, have you noticed the true effects of this phenomenon?

For example, you eat dinner alone because your partner has a work event. It wasn’t as fun or even satiating, and as you begin washing the dishes all you can think about is, “Well I ate dinner but it wasn’t that good, in fact, it didn’t even feel like a real dinner!”, and as you continue to wash the dishes you find yourself in a not so positive state. Funny thing is, if you keep focusing on that all you’ll end up doing is munching on one snack after another thinking it will satisfy you but oftentimes than not it never does!

Instead, what if you focused on thoughts that elevate you? “I have all this free time maybe I’ll take a bubble bath and light some candles” or “I think I’ll make some hot cocoa and finally pick up that book I’ve been meaning to read!”.

Notice the difference?

All of a sudden the food was just energy your body needed and you can now focus on what makes you feel good!

It’s all about focus.

Here’s another example. Let’s say you’re in the dating scene and It’s been one mismatch after another. Instead of focusing on that, what if you focused on the fact that one day this adventure will lead to a significant life partner (and a couple of funny stories to tell too!)

So remember, what you focus on is what you’re going to get. After all, there must have been a reason you stumbled upon this website and made it to the end of this post am I right?

Focus on the transformation; focus on the good just a little bit more and watch the magic unfold.

“By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience—even the comfort in a single breath—you’ll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure.”

~Rick Hanson

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

How I Cured Severe PMS

I’ve debated for as long as my writings have submerged whether or not I wanted to divulge this part of my life. Not because it’s personal, but because the “cure” didn’t come in the form of a person or special herbal supplement. The cure was actually something so simple yet required a miracle mindset to achieve.

Let me start from the beginning.

For as long as I could remember I had debilitating PMS symptoms. From intense cravings, bloating up to 5-7 pounds in water weight, irritability, intense emotions, and this was the clincher for me – depression.

Like clockwork every 2 weeks I would dread the 14 day mark where these symptoms would arrive and drive me crazy until the 3rd day into my menstrual cycle. I began tracking every period so that I can brace myself and prepare for the 2 weeks out of every month (that’s 6 months of the year by the way) where I would need to mentally strap myself in for the ride.

Researching cures was a part time job. During every break and bedtime reading it was reading the latest scientific research on which herbal supplement, exercise, hormone treatment might possibly be the cure for me. I was searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… and the Unicorn.

I tried visiting multiple doctors and every emerging biohack that existed, and while I saw incremental changes it was nothing compared to the peace I so deeply desired.

Birth control pills were out of the question. I tried it once and cried for no reason in public and it wasn’t until my mother asked if I made any changes to my supplement regimen that I realized it was the pill that wasn’t working for me.

What truly helped was getting in tune with my body. The first time I ever realized this was when I went gluten free after having done an elimination diet when I first started Crossfit. Going gluten free was a game changer. No longer did I have the debilitating cramps that kept me popping ibuprofen and staying in bed! However, this was short lived as I still encountered many of the other symptoms that equally drove me crazy.

Fast forward several years I remember being curled up in a ball and fervently praying to God, the Universe, anyone that would listen. I prayed that I be at peace… for my mind was driving me insane.

Just thinking about the next 14 days was driving me crazy. You see, I was perpetually in a state of being a slave to the thought. A puppet to the PMS gods.

I prayed out of desperation because none of my strategies were working and I didn’t have any more cards up my sleeve to even consider.

I prayed to see things differently. Ultimately, I just prayed for peace. I remember distinctly saying, “I don’t even care if I continue on with these symptoms, I just need the peace.”

In complete and utter surrender I fell asleep and the next morning I decided to walk 4 miles to city center instead of taking the bus. In that moment I realized I was in a different state. I remember to this day that if even an inkling of a PMS related thought (or any negative thought for that matter) crossed my mind I just decided, “Nope, not going to think about that right now.” and I moved on.

And fast forward another few years later – still NO PMS SYMPTOMS. None, nada, zilch, nothing.

I remember in all my 20s saying to God, “If you cure me of this I swear I’ll write a blog post about what happened.”. So here I am fulfilling my promise.

And I can almost hear the disappointment because I of all people very well know by no means is this a sexy cure all. I know first hand how desperately satisfying and exciting it is to have someone say, “I tried X product with X person and my disease is completely gone! I am loving life now!”.

But I need to be completely honest of my own experience – it was what worked for me.

If someone would have told me this story in my early 20s I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Yea, lucky you but that isn’t going to work for me.”.

It wasn’t until years later after becoming an Integrative Life Coach (and years of studying various modalities related to neuroscience) that I realized what I did on my own is an actual thing.

You see, we are playing a movie in our minds eye all the time and what we see is a mere reflection of what we think. We can be at peace right away, symptoms or not, because it isn’t the PMS that is causing us our suffering it is our thought about it.

I just simply changed my thought.

We have become so accustomed to believing our thought is fact when really it’s just a thought. It takes a mental meta-model to truly see the nuances but it can be done. Why do you think mindfulness has made it so big? It’s achieving the same goal of separating thought from fact.

And I get it. It’s not the sexiest cure; but I also understand it’s individual timing. It’s trusting the journey in where you are. It’s the willingness to see things differently and sometimes that willingness only appears when you are so desperate.

Truly this was the moment where I experienced a miracle. I mean, if someone told me I wouldn’t have anymore PMS symptoms the next day I don’t know if I would have believed it.

Again, this was the moment I realized just how powerful our brains truly are.

Were the symptoms real? Of course. But it makes me question (and thus launched me deep into the research of the brain) and why I became an Integrative Life Coach, just how much of the symptoms were caused by the power of my own thoughts vs. my body?

I’ll say it again, through years of my own research I have come to learn that thoughts cause emotions, not the other way around. HOW we look at life, our very own perspective and belief systems, are the very basis of how we will experience life!

This is the true work of personal power. Understanding our very own foundation allows us to become the strong pillars we so desperately seek in our lives.

So whether it is PMS or some other patterned thought/behavior – just recognize that there is possibility in making your experience of the situation completely different.

On that note, I bow deeply to anyone reading this post going through PMS or any other similar situation… your strength, courage, and determination does not go unnoticed.

In deep wellness,

Susan

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

I tried visiting multiple doctors and every emerging biohack that existed, and while I saw incremental changes it was nothing compared to the peace I so deeply desired.

It wasn’t until years later after becoming an Integrative Life Coach (and years of studying various modalities related to neuroscience) that I realized what I did on my own is an actual thing.

Never Miss an Announcement!