Seattle Integrative Life Coach Archives

Friday Focus – 5/18/18 {Managing Expectations}

When we give ourselves a moment to think about what we really want in our lives, we, for better or for worse, realize the imaginings of a perfect fairytale.

We want the perfect partner and loving relationship, we want a career that fulfills us, we want a beautiful home with perfect neighbors who become our best friends, we want to travel the world and have the most exciting foreign experiences, and so it goes on.

While desiring a certain level of success and growth of our own potential is perfectly normal, what gets us into trouble is with our expectations.

Typically when we think of these future focused desires what we aren’t thinking about is the reality of life:

The inevitable arguments and ups and downs of any intimate relationship that, if handled well, only strengthen the bond between two people
The nuances of what it means to work with other people as you are on the path of a fulfilling career
The renovations of an aging house
The airport delays and possibly even stomach flus we get while traveling to foreign countries

And the moment our expectations aren’t met we end up having a harder time managing our mind and the myriad if emotions that surface.

What if instead we understood life was 50/50? That when we come across the valley, we understand it will take time to cross it in order to get to the mountain top.

Instead of being surprised, angry, or frustrated when things don’t go your way, because hey, life right?, we are met with acceptance and understanding that sometimes things happen.

All of this is said so that when we manage our expectations we are allowing and living with more lightness in our lives. Less heaviness, yearning, grasping and more lightness.

Can you notice a subtle shift?

When looking back at your most recent disappointment, what was you expectation of the outcome? How did you manage your emotions and how can you use the 50/50 rule when it comes the future expectations?

So, here’s to managing our expectations and allowing more lightness into our lives.

In wellness,

Susan

Susan is a Life Coach based in Seattle, WA. Her main focus is to coach people build a strong emotional container so that we can experience the fullness of life coming from a place of deep confidence. Susan also coaches clients looking to heal adrenal fatigue by using a mental meta-model aimed at breaking down old mental patterns and behaviors so that we can finally tap into our own personal power.

Photo by Unsplash

The Secret

“Therefore the secret of all power, all achievement, and all possession depends upon our method of thinking.

This is true because we must be before we can do, and that we can do only to the extent which we are, and what we are depends upon what we think.”

~Charles F. Haanel

Our minds can lead us to the largest and unthinkable potential of ourselves or the exact opposite.

What thoughts are you thinking yourself towards today?

In mindful wellness,

Susan

Photo by Unsplash

Friday Focus – 1/19/18 {The Photographer’s Lens}

Photography is very big in my life. I love capturing the beautiful soul I see during portrait sessions, and particularly love the special family moments, the in between as I like to call it, during family sessions. While I don’t do nearly as many sessions as I used to years ago, I still love it when old clients ask for updated photos.

Earlier this week I was noticing how, as humans, it’s incredibly easy to focus on the minutiae. Our focus tends to be on ONE thing, and when I say ONE thing, it’s hyper focused on that subject and moves on to the next when we feel like we’ve resolved (aka controlled) it in some way or another.

And I thought to myself, what if we zoomed out?

How much of this precious life, this day, this landscape are we missing by zooming in? What if we took a step back (for those of you that are used to primes) and saw the bigger picture? Just how much meaning of the bigger picture does this “one” thing end up having?

Oftentimes we forget. We forget how much grandeur, mystery, beauty, and synchronicity there is to life.

We forget just how much beauty there is everywhere, including our own selves.

Can we zoom out today? And begin to appreciate the bigger picture? What other beautiful mysteries might we be missing?

I hope we find out.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Alvaro Araujo Alcalde on Unsplash

The Placebo Effect & The Power Of The Mind

Placebos. Do you believe them?

Regardless of the validity of placebos, this post on the New York Times shed some incredible light on the power of the mind. And it made me think and affirm, truly how powerful is our mind?

This is how powerful: we can see a different reality just by changing our emotional state. Have you ever felt depressed or downright angry, then you hear good news and suddenly it’s as if you couldn’t remember why or how such a thing could have caused you to be so depressed or angry?

Our minds are powerful. Beliefs are powerful.

Placebos aside, the general idea around what you choose to believe in (therefore allowing yourself to feel good or bad depending on choice) is certainly something to inquire.

I’ve written on this before and have seen it come down to this time and time again – if our actions and reactions are like branches of a tree, then our core beliefs running the direction of these branches are the roots of the tree. What underlying, fundamental beliefs about you and your life are running the show on an unconscious level?

The beauty in all this is choice. After awareness, reconciliation, and practice, we have the choice to build a better life. And guess what? We’re beautiful humans, so this means we have the rest of our lives to constantly grow and shine brighter each and every day.

After all, it’s the journey right?

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash

What Can Put A Smile On Your Face Today?

Today’s post is short and sweet, and the message is simple:

Do one thing today that makes you happy!

For me lately, it’s taking advantage of this brewy Seattle weather, creating space and personal time to read books on vibrational frequency and quantum physics. It’s quite fascinating and with a side of hot coffee, you just can’t beat it.

So, I’m curious… what’s one thing you can do today that makes you smile?

Maybe it’s helping someone smile themselves, or paying for someone’s parking meter when it’s about to expire, maybe it’s a hot bath, lighting a candle for some much needed quiet time, or writing a love letter to yourself.

Whatever it may be I invite you to reflect and see what comes up for you today. Ask yourself, what would put a smile on my face? What small thing can I do for me today?

And even better… when we can uplift ourselves, we naturally uplift others.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

You Must Desire Change For Change To Take Place

I admit – I’m a podcast junkie. Wait, I’m an information junkie.

Anytime there’s a car ride somewhere I’m most likely listening to a podcast, expanding my perspective and knowledge on anything from biographies, entrepreneurship, spirituality, yoga, marketing, and so much more. And in my spare time reading on any of the mentioned topics as well!

The other day I was listening to a talk on marketing and they were explaining techniques on how to grab a potential client’s attention in order to get in front of them, especially in this day and age where people’s attention are so limited (or so that is how time is perceived).

While I understood where and how this technique can be useful, in my line of work I realized this particular technique only works if one thing is already present… and that is – the person’s utmost desire to change and whether they have an open mind.

At the end of the day the person themselves must desire the change so much they see all and each of their endeavors & experiments as a step toward the change they seek.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it takes persuasion or the right words to instigate the change but the core desire must come from within. That way even if the product or service did not work 100% the outcome is a learning mechanism or viewed as a positive experience due to its other tangential benefits.

Before I close the post I wanted to touch on one of these tangential benefits – serendipity, fate, or how your life can change completely, whatever you want to call it, it’s happened to me many times. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was intrigued and fascinated at how our minds can be so malleable. How in the right circumstance, time, and moment our entire perspective on life can shift. This was the power of NLP and I wanted to learn more.

So I went down the path of reading and listening to all things NLP. However, being the type of person I am I wanted to learn directly from someone who has a greater knowledge and depth around this subject rather than trying to piece meal information together on my own. I needed to learn how it worked and why.

I found someone who I thought would be perfect.

Fast forward some time later, I quickly realized I needed more. It wasn’t enough.

Long story short, I eventually found someone who would then recommend me to their teacher and my mind was BLOWN.

You see, sometimes you need to follow the breadcrumbs. Was I slightly disappointed by the first experience? Sure. But I remember thanking the experience. I remember telling myself that there had to have been a reason and that something later on would confirm this was meant to be.

And I was right. Had I not encountered that first experience I would have never met people who would become good friends in the industry nor would I have gone truly deep enough to incorporate this life changing modality into my own work.

I still continue to immerse myself in the world of NLP. #nerdalert

So there you have it. True desire for change must come from within in order for change to take place. It will be this deep knowing that allows you to know whether or not you’ve made the change or to thank the experience and look for what it is you need.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Between Breaths

there are times

when we stop.

we sit still…

we listen

&

breezes

from a whole

other world…

begin to whisper.

~james carroll

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Mike Enerio on Unsplash

Embodying Your Intentions & Taking One Small Step

There’s always something about the first few weeks of the new year that makes it special. You’re still in awe of how the last year flew by, and in a way, motivated to make the most out of this one. I know I certainly am.

While most traditions call for new year resolutions I’ve become a believer of setting intentions instead. Why? Because intentions inherently focus on the positive qualities we want to imbue, not the “thing” we must strive for (aka resolutions).

Now the exception to this rule is if you are the type of person that absolutely gets pumped over resolutions.

No seriously! I can’t stress enough how important it is to know thy self. No one can tell you what’s right and wrong for you – only you know what works, and yes, while this evolves over time as you do – only you can know what’s right for you in any moment when you truly connect with your deepest self.

After you’ve set your intention, imagine how it would feel to embody those qualities of said intention by asking yourself these powerful questions:

What qualities do you need to feel good carrying out your intention? List as many as you can.
What sensations and/or emotions do you feel?
Where in your body do you feel them? Describe every detail of how it feels!
How do you perceive the world differently? What’s changed specifically?
What does your voice sound like when you are interacting with others?
What would it look like in your actions/interactions with others? What are the differences in how you view yourself?

And of course, the pivotal question to get you started – what is the one small step you can take for yourself?

Whether it’s:

lighting a candle to start a personal QT (quality time) practice
flossing your two front teeth
setting an alarm to meditate for ONE minute
preparing ONE healthy meal for yourself during the week
praising ONE person during the week to help elevate another person
taking 5 deep breaths a day to start a breathing practice
drinking ONE tall glass of water during the day

Do you see how taking one small step allows for easy, quick accomplishments? This rewards the brain center and suddenly any blocks or fears around whether or not the “goal” is truly achievable lessens with every small win.

Whenever I want to incorporate a new aspect into my lifestyle this is exactly what I do.

First, I meditate on what it is I truly want. Rather than focusing on a certain goal, I focus on my intention. What is the deeper meaning behind incorporating this into my life?
I then look at the qualities of what it is I want to incorporate. Is it more love? peace? joy? strength? determination?
I look to the one small step I can take to make it an easy win
Repeat step 3 🙂

If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to take a deep review of what it is you truly want more of in your life this year. Often times, you may even notice your qualities end up being your intention and that is OK as well!

Here’s to the turtle that always wins the race 🙂

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Samuel Clara on Unsplash

Joyful

Joyful

Let a joyful noise
Fill this place
Let love rain down
And cover us with grace
Let the light come down
Let us sing and dance
Sing in praise
Sing out loud
Sing for our souls
Dance in the street
Cause we need to let
A little joy rain down
Let it rain over the world
Until we can’t stop dancing
Until we can’t stop singing
Until we can’t stop rejoicing
Allow a little joy into your heart
You will be surprised how far it just might go

~Ahmad Cox

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Doing The Unexpected To Shift Perspective

Oftentimes when we find ourselves in a lower state, a mix of emotions that aren’t useful and have been in your mind space for long enough that it doesn’t serve you, we get stuck in a rut.

Why is that? Well, for one, all it takes it 90 seconds to lessen the stronghold of a particular emotion. It passes after 90 seconds. However, most people are so ardently focused on what’s wrong that those 90 seconds are far and few between.

So what can you do to shift your perspective? For one, change your environment. Get out of the house, take a 30 minute break from your office, and most importantly – DO SOMETHING NEW.

The most efficient way to shift your perspective is to do the unexpected.

If something happened in the morning, try taking a new route to work.
If something happened at work, try taking a break by ordering coffee at a new coffee shop you’ve never been to.
In general try visiting a new park and taking a stroll discovering new sights and sounds that nature has to offer.
Or go on a mini adventure doing something new (let’s say, visiting a pet shelter, trying stand-up paddle boarding for the first time, buying coffee for the person behind you, etc.) to shift your experience completely!

And the bottom line? The possibilities are endless and the power is in your hands.

So think bright my friends! You’ll be amazed at how the world looks so different when we do the unexpected and shift our perspective in a matter of minutes.

And of course, let’s not forget, if this is a deep and recurring emotion and/or situation we must address the root and do the work.

In wellness,

Susan

Photo by Alejandro Alvarez on Unsplash