Seoul Life Coach Archives - Page 15 of 16

Building The Personal Power Mindset

In an earlier post I wrote about personal power and how easy it is to give it away to other people, objects, or simply daily events that happen in our lives.

Today, I wanted to focus specifically on one major way we give away our power so easily, and that is: caring about what other people think.

If you’ve done the 24 hour self realization test you may have noticed this particular theme come up over and over again. Why is it that we care so damn much about what others think? To the point that it actually changes our very own behavior and possibly the trajectory of our path?

Let’s be honest, we’ve all done this at one point or another in the past. Heck, maybe even within the last day!

Your baby is uncomfortable and crying on his/her first flight and you’re flushed and embarrassed at the thought of other people being annoyed at you and your baby.
You wear something amazing to school or work only to notice someone else is getting much more attention. You decide to keep your jacket on and wear your outfit on another day.
You pack your lunch because there’s an important lunch meeting and you notice no one else is eating. You decide to eat later and hope to God your stomach doesn’t growl during the hour.
You have an accent and you’re afraid other’s might think less of you so you avoid any job that requires speaking over the phone or public speaking.

The list can go on…

What I’ve noticed a million times over is that people who have this tendency are doing one thing 90% of the time – they aren’t caring enough about themselves.

What’s happening in our brains is that we are already looking outward and caught up in a fear based state of other people’s projection. Now, remember what I’ve said over and over again – with every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. This is power.

If you have a tendency to immediately jump to what other people think, you also have an equal tendency (or the opportunity) to immediately jump to what YOU care about in yourself.

Instead of caring about what other people think about you, why not care about what you want to do?

Why not care about your world for once?
Why not care about your voice?
Why not care about how your potential failure can lead to future success?
Why not care about yourself?

You may begin to feel something shift within you. You may begin to imagine all the times that if you shifted your mindset to caring about yourself first, how empowering this actually feels.

Remember, no one is actually thinking about you as much as they are thinking about themselves.

Take baby steps to build your personal power. Use the right tools whether they be books, meditation, a spiritual practice, or a coach/therapist to get you along the right path.

Owning your personal power is a birth right and we need as many people (with the truest of intentions) to step into their God given power – your true Light!

In wellness,

Susan

Friday Focus – 10/27/17 {Shedding Trauma}

I don’t know where you guys are in the world but Seattle is having an absolutely gorgeous day. I mean, look at the sky and these beautiful amber turned leaves!

As I walked the pup this morning hearing the crunch of fallen leaves… I couldn’t help but think about old stories. Experiences. Hurts. Past Traumas.

If you’ve been reading along you know I emphasize how powerful our brains are. It’s interesting and noteworthy, again, to recognize our brains are powerful. So powerful that they hold on to these old stories, experiences, hurts, and past traumas in order to help us. But without special attention what can happen is that they begin to inhibit us.

It keeps us small. afraid. quiet. simple. frustrated. angry. bewildered. anxious.

And in staying small (and afriad, quiet, simple, frustrated, angry, bewildered, anxious, etc.) we begin to generalize these core feelings until it becomes a THING. Suddenly it’s not in the past anymore it’s something you believe you have now.

So what’s REALLY the thing, the thing in the past or the thing now?

Does it even matter?

No matter what conclusion you came to, what matters is re-training your brain to stop from firing the old story over and over again in the present moment. The larger YOU knows you are safe. You have options. You aren’t IN the past you’re IN the NOW. And largely, we have God.

When we come to understand this truth, we begin to break the barrier.

We begin to notice the firing.

That’s not to say there isn’t more work to be done such as Release Work and Re-Training The Neural Network. While it sounds deep and heavy, trust me… with a good practitioner you can be healed and released from old hurts and begin taking steps toward the life you know you deserve. Yes, it’s possible.

So back to Fall… as I listened to the crunch of fallen leaves this morning I couldn’t help but think what a great time it is to release and re-train. Nature reveals everything. After the harvest comes death and rebirth. Yet, it’s ironic how this is barely practiced in our own lives. Where are the rituals to process our latest stories and hurts? Do we take the time for the yearly tune up we all could use?

So this Fall I am thankful. I am thankful for the reminder of death and rebirth. With every action there is a reaction. With every force there is an opposite force. With every old story there is a new story. Nature proves this so and how powerful is that?

In wellness,

Susan

Friday Focus – 10/20/17 {Don’t Let IT Define You}

Labels. Society and humans have created labels as a way to quickly categorize every thing possible including the way we feel. While it is highly efficient to name and label things so that we can go about our lives and continue to evolve, labels can be detrimental to our quality of life.

What I’ve seen time and time again is how a feeling or an event can suddenly be so generalized in the mind that suddenly you are IT.

For example, you have a prolonged depressive time in your life where you are in a medical condition you wish you didn’t have. Suddenly that moment (or moments) where you felt severely depressed is so generalized you are suddenly “in depression”.

Or how about the few times at work where rushing deadlines and frantic managers have caused an uncomfortable level of anxiety within you and suddenly you believe you “have anxiety”.

This list is endless as you can imagine. Fortunately, through awareness and active monitoring of our thoughts, we can stop the generalization of these moment to moment feelings so that we suddenly aren’t just a label.

Yes, that feeling was real. The event did happen. However, it doesn’t define who you really are.

You are much more than the feeling that lasted a couple of minutes or maybe an hour or two. You are much more than what happened in the past. You are now. You are living and breathing. You are love in this very moment. You are the experiencer of experiences. Not the actual experience.

The power is in your minds, and how freeing is this? To know you always have a choice. To know that if it’s possible to generalize a thought so much so that we become the thought, that we have the same power to go the complete opposite direction and unbecome that very thought in an instant.

Powerful thoughts on this wonderful Friday morning.

In wellness,

Susan

Visualization – Getting To The Truth In Minutes

Have you ever found yourself literally talking to yourself inside your head? Or perhaps talking to yourself, and it’s as if you can’t stop your own voice from thinking?

“I know what I’ll say to her when I see him next time, I’m going to say….”

“That just doesn’t make sense, why would you even think such a thought? It’s not even who you are!”

“Why is this the longest minute ever… and I still need to run another 3 minutes before my next station. Oh I see that it’s still raining maybe I do need to get that new umbrella this season.”

“Why am I having this thought and why the hell can’t I stop myself from thinking?!”

And so it goes on…

If you’re advanced in the mindfulness arena you’re well aware this is your ego, your smaller self. But what is one to do once you’re aware of what’s actually going on?

One way, as there are several, is the use of NLP. What I love about NLP is the use of customized visualization. You can visualize whatever detail you need to help you get to the truth and today, I will share with you exactly what helps me in this type of situation when I struggle with stopping thoughts whirring inside my head.

Whenever I need to get out of my head and into my heart I drop into the heart space. I go straight to visualizing my living, breathing heart in the flesh. I imagine it’s steady heartbeat, the blood pumping in and out of the main arteries. I see my heart doing what it does automatically and suddenly I feel and know the deeper truth of the moment. It’s as if I stepped down (or up, remember NLP is all about finding out what works for YOU) out of the silliness of my thoughts into something real… the TRUTH.

Now stop and think about what works for YOU. Is it imagining that you’re suddenly in outer space and you can’t hear a single thing? Or maybe it’s visualizing looking into your dog’s eyes and knowing there is a deeper wisdom in those eyes and by looking into those eyes suddenly you are made aware of a deep truth you always knew inside.

You see, visualization is limitless. You just need to find what works for YOU and how powerful is that?

Spend a few minutes today figuring out what works for you. After all, it may save you hours of misery from the mental rat race we so easily find ourselves in if we’re not mindful of our thoughts 😉

In wellness,

Susan

Are You Giving Away Your Power?

Are you? Are you aware of how often you give away your very own power? Are you aware that your power is limitless and no matter how empty you feel, you can feel on top of the world in an instant?

When we aren’t conscious about it, we give away our power in so. many. ways.

Case in point:

Someone is rude to you and you feel offended. I mean, how could they?!
You’re trying to make a coffee order and the server treats you halfheartedly while smiling enthusiastically at someone else. Really?
The customer service rep doesn’t seem to respect your situation. I can’t even…
Your boss/client says something in passing and you can’t seem to stop thinking about what they said. What’s wrong with me? Am I a failure?
It’s a month into your new diet and the scale doesn’t seem to agree. Why do I feel like a loser?
A beautiful, young woman seems to have everything going for her while you happen to be in your rumpy old work out clothes. Don’t go there, don’t go there…

While these may not all apply to you, the point of the examples above was to reflect the ways in which we give away our power so easily. To others, to objects, and yes, even that small anxious voice in our very own heads.

The first step in harnessing our own power is simple yet requires training and discipline.

It’s self realization.

Have you actually tried to count the ways you give away your power in a single day. I bet you’d be surprised at what comes up 😉

Try it! Set an alarm each hour and track the moments of the past 60 minutes in which you felt annoyed, depressed, stressed, or worried. At the end of the day, you may notice an overarching theme or two… or three.

You see, most of the “why’s” in which we give away our power stems from old beliefs or anchored fears. What do I mean by that? Here are a few examples:

I’m never good enough
People don’t respect me
What if I don’t make it?
I’m not loveable
I’m emotionally weak
I appear to be too powerful
People don’t listen to me
I get sick too easily
People always seem to leave me
I’m “fat” or I’m “too skinny”

This list can go on forever… that’s how smart and powerful our minds are. If we aren’t careful we can be chasing this wild rabbit for YEARS.

I can’t tell you enough how many people begin to expand their own awareness once they realize what their overarching themes are.

Once you realize what old beliefs and anchored fears are holding you back you begin to step OUT of the story and IN to your own power.

For the most deeply rooted fears and limiting beliefs there are several techniques that can be used to help offset the years of patterned behavior which I hope to write about soon. But for now, try the 24 hour journal. Get to know your self in a way that will change your life forever.

In wellness,

Susan

The Paradise Dilemma

I’m in Seoul for some much needed family time and I told myself I would stay away from technology.. but wanted to share what I call the Paradise Dilemma. Before I get into that though can we talk about how beautiful this city is? Today I felt the first REAL day of Fall! There was a certain crispness in the air and I can tell by the way the light is hitting the trees our Earth is shifting into Autumn. It’s beautiful. Despite everything that is going on in this country the people continue to be vivacious, kind, and ever so generous…

The other day one of my closest friends happened to have an overnight layover in Seoul and it was as if the 6 months that went by without talking to one another never even existed. We walked to at an adorable cafe in Bukchon village and had the biggest serving of Jeju green tea bingsoo (shaved ice) and chatted away until it was time for our next meal!

What I love about our friendship is that we get it. Despite the sometimes worried tone of the updates the truth is we get what’s really happening – that we are held always, that we are the master of our thoughts.

That’s where the Paradise Dilemma comes into play. You see, once our basic needs are met (food, shelter, saftey) we’re in paradise and suddenly our ego believes there’s always something better and bigger leaving us in a state of continuous wonderment as to whether or not this is actually true. Some thoughts that may leave you in this dilemma can be as simple or as complex as:

Is there someone better out there? (as you are in a steady relationship)
Could I be living a more exciting life?
Is this the job I’m really meant to have?
I wish I had a better community where I am truly accepted.
And the thoughts go on and on as you can imagine…

The problem doesn’t lie in the thought itself, it’s the slightest belief in the possibility that suddenly catapults us into some better, imaginary future.

Now, this doesn’t mean things are always black and white. There’s a fine line between buying into our a egoic thoughts and tapping into our truest potential.

So what’s the difference? How can we separate the two?

It’s detachment. It’s becoming aware of when you are identified with a story (even if it’s a future story). It’s knowing you are in heaven as we speak and the present is all there is. It’s giving your best with what you have and are capable of TODAY and surrendering all outcomes to your higher self. It’s understanding these thoughts are natural and giving them even more meaning just means you are breathing life into each passing thought. It’s understanding that the more you entertain and dwell in these worried thoughts it keeps you further and further away from one simple TRUTH – that the present is all we ever really have.

And just as important, it’s recognizing that what you are chasing is a feeling and for the most part that feeling can only be controlled by you and you alone. After all, when you acquire and/or achieve X there’s only a shinier, bigger, better object in the near future right?

That’s why I am so thankful for NLP, advancements in neuroscience and mindfulness. It’s our biggest protector against our own selves; that’s how smart we are!

With that said, I’m off to go on another urban hike through the city. Here’s to enjoying what is unfolding in each and every moment and being thankful for each and every breath we take.

In wellness,

Susan

Summer & Questions To Guide Inner Reflection

There’s something about going back home… While I grew up as an army brat with many “homes”, I consider Seoul and Tokyo my old stomping grounds. It’s where I spent more of my formative years.

As I head back to Seoul for a much needed break I can’t help but be thankful for Seattle. Since my re-entry this wonderful city has been a place where I met the most unexpected people; a place where I grew in ways I never thought I would. Guess it goes back to, “You never know what the Universe will provide if you surrender and let go of expectations.”

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset — Seattle Summer Nights

I’m looking forward to this break so that I can spend time with family and old friends. It will also be a time for inner reflection, and I won’t lie… there will be a few meetings sprinkled in here and there but when you put your highest intention in them it doesn’t feel like just a “meeting” if you know what I mean 😉

As we close out this Summer I urge you to take time for inner reflection. While everyone’s questions and time for reflection will be different, here are a few you can use to guide yourself:

What have been the consistent themes/thoughts these past 3-4 months?
What have I done to take action toward these themes/thoughts?
Am I in a place where I am ready to take action?
Who or What can help me take action? (i.e., books, meetups, teachers, coaches, etc.)
As I prepare for Fall, what do I need to close out to complete Summer?

May these next few weeks be filled with last minute bbqs, more laughter, and time spent with our loved ones.

Namaste,

Susan

Play in the field of Greatness. Mobile wallpaper

Friday Focus – 8/25/17 {When You Can’t Stop The Stress}

“What do you do when you know what to do, but you can’t help but let the stress get to you?”

“The suffering comes when you resist the current situation. What are you trying to change?”

“I feel as if I know enough intellectually not to stress out too much about things, and knowing this should help me in most situations… but I keep stressing and the stressing is stressing me out even more!”

“What is the goal?”

“The goal is to stop stressing!”

“This goal cannot be achieved right now. You are fighting against the current flow of life. Fighting against the flow of life creates even more resistance. Turn your vision around and go with the flow. Stress? What is so bad about stress? It is our identified stories and fears around a situation that creates stress and therefore keep us in suffering. “Stress” is not what is driving you mad, it is your identification to something or someone”

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So much of our suffering comes from desiring a different “current situation”. Can we sit in THIS moment and feel the gratitude of our breath? The sun on our face? The ability to call our loved ones and tell them how much we love them? To hug our beloved dog? To walk outside in nature and feel the beating heart of Mother Earth?

If you find yourself identifying to the student above ask yourself these following questions:

What am I needing to change to feel better?
Can I have faith that this too shall pass?
Can I breathe and with each exhale deepen my faith in the Universe’s ability to handle things perfectly?

No matter the situation, let us find a bit of peace in knowing we are taken care of – always.

In wellness,

Susan

Seeking Confirmation

Why do we do that? Whether it’s out of curiosity or we want to hear something other than what we know deep down inside, it’s as if us humans have an insatiable need to constantly seek confirmation outside ourselves.

On one hand if you have a healthy mindset about it, scratching a particular itch doesn’t hurt. I often find that when you’re honed in on your own intuition and your deepest desires you always know the answer and aren’t as stressed because you already have faith in the unfoldment of what is to be. Instead, what we mistaken as confirmation are really therapeutic experiences; after all as humans we love to be in community and what better way than to share and find a tribe of people who understand what you’re going through?

Where I think it can do more harm than good is when you constantly seek confirmation without giving anyone’s opinion or advice deep thought. When you feel the need to jump from one thing to another, stop and ask yourself, “what am I seeking?” “what do I want to hear?” “what am I afraid of?” “what is the underlying emotion that is driving my actions?”

Whether you’re in one boat or the other, consider relabeling what you are seeking. Rather than seeking “confirmation”, position your thoughts to identify with this activity as a “therapeutic experience” or a “discovery session”. Whether you do this with friends, a tarot/astrology reading, therapist, or life coach, when you identify this as a self discovery process suddenly the desperation falls away. Did you feel the shift?

When we come from a place of seeking confirmation it implies a yearning for a particular goal, outcome, or indicates an illusory fear.

So the next time you feel the need to seek confirmation, take a moment to re-identify the action from seeking to discovery. It may make a world of difference and save you the stress.

And remember, you already have the answers within ?

In wellness,

Susan

How Doing Something New Can Lead To Discovering A New Side Of You

As Summer slowly comes to an end so does my experiment with clay (but not for long…).

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a deep curiosity with this art form. For better or for worse, the timing never showed it’s prime opportunity so it wasn’t until this year, 2017, where I had a chance to take the dive into learning all things clay. And boy was it AMAZING.

Getting lost in how the clay feels, structuring the slabs, to learning how to center my first piece on the wheel were only some of the highlights from this Summer. I can’t tell you the amount of burst out loud laughs erupted from the studio as I and these newfound friends shared life stories.

I’m forever a proponent of switching things up, doing something new, and re-discovering yourself all over again, and I’m so glad clay was my form of outlet this Summer.

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset — This light…

I’ve found another form of meditation and a new part of myself through clay. This will certainly be a part of my life and I can’t wait to see how this new journey unfolds.

Here’s to trying new things and going after the small inklings we feel throughout our lives, because you never know what you might discover until you find out.

In wellness,

Susan