Recurring stress over the same issue may happen for several reasons, and today, we’ll be covering the top reasons why. But before we do, let me ask you this question. When you think about your stress, what or whom causes the stress the most? Could it be:
- your boss?
- staring at excel spreadsheets all day?
- office politics?
- cranky children?
- mother-in-law?
- too little time on your calendar?
Let’s take the lack of time on your calendar as an example.
The number one reason most people believe this is stressful is because they believe what is filling their calendar to begin with is to blame. They may say things such as, “I’m a busy mom with a full time job and my kids can’t do it without me” or “This is just how my life is right now; I can’t say no to anything on my calendar”.
When we choose to say these things, what we inadvertently are doing is giving our power away to outside circumstances. This leaves us in victim mentality, and this is never a good thing.
When we stay in victim mode we don’t make choices that serve us. Instead we continue to perpetuate the circumstance, and unfortunately, stay stressed!
What if instead you said things that gave you your power back and offered you choices such as:
- I’m a bad-ass mom and cherish every moment I get with my children
- I can look into hiring part time support to help with the chores
- I will only say yes to invites that have a net positive result for me and my family
Thoughts such as the ones above take you out of victim mentality and propel you forward to take positive action. Staying in the original stressful thoughts only keep you there. See the difference?
Now, another reason most people stay stressed about the same issue is because they haven’t dug deep enough to the root cause of their stress.
Most often than not, when I first work with a client I see that there is always something much deeper than a “calendar”, “boss”, or whatever issue it was they originally came in with.
This is where we need to dig through layered thoughts, conscious and unconscious, to identify what the sticking point it.
It very well could be fear of death, security issues, lack of control, etc. and until we resolve THESE issues no matter what you do to try and control your calendar you very well may remain stressed because again, it’s not the calendar that is causing you your stress.
So ask yourself these questions:
- Have I been speaking to myself as the victim?
- How can I change my thoughts to propel me into positive action?
- What could be the real issue underlying all this?
Until we treat the root of how and why we automatically think disserving thoughts, our stress may very well remain, and this is why stress is never a bad thing. Our stress is only trying to teach us what we need to bring to the surface so that we can finally resolve a much bigger issue and start living the life we know deep down we’re all meant to live.
In wellness,
Susan