I’m in Seoul for some much needed family time and I told myself I would stay away from technology.. but wanted to share what I call the Paradise Dilemma. Before I get into that though can we talk about how beautiful this city is? Today I felt the first REAL day of Fall! There was a certain crispness in the air and I can tell by the way the light is hitting the trees our Earth is shifting into Autumn. It’s beautiful. Despite everything that is going on in this country the people continue to be vivacious, kind, and ever so generous…
The other day one of my closest friends happened to have an overnight layover in Seoul and it was as if the 6 months that went by without talking to one another never even existed. We walked to at an adorable cafe in Bukchon village and had the biggest serving of Jeju green tea bingsoo (shaved ice) and chatted away until it was time for our next meal!
What I love about our friendship is that we get it. Despite the sometimes worried tone of the updates the truth is we get what’s really happening – that we are held always, that we are the master of our thoughts.
That’s where the Paradise Dilemma comes into play. You see, once our basic needs are met (food, shelter, saftey) we’re in paradise and suddenly our ego believes there’s always something better and bigger leaving us in a state of continuous wonderment as to whether or not this is actually true. Some thoughts that may leave you in this dilemma can be as simple or as complex as:
- Is there someone better out there? (as you are in a steady relationship)
- Could I be living a more exciting life?
- Is this the job I’m really meant to have?
- I wish I had a better community where I am truly accepted.
- And the thoughts go on and on as you can imagine…
The problem doesn’t lie in the thought itself, it’s the slightest belief in the possibility that suddenly catapults us into some better, imaginary future.
Now, this doesn’t mean things are always black and white. There’s a fine line between buying into our a egoic thoughts and tapping into our truest potential.
So what’s the difference? How can we separate the two?
It’s detachment. It’s becoming aware of when you are identified with a story (even if it’s a future story). It’s knowing you are in heaven as we speak and the present is all there is. It’s giving your best with what you have and are capable of TODAY and surrendering all outcomes to your higher self. It’s understanding these thoughts are natural and giving them even more meaning just means you are breathing life into each passing thought. It’s understanding that the more you entertain and dwell in these worried thoughts it keeps you further and further away from one simple TRUTH – that the present is all we ever really have.
And just as important, it’s recognizing that what you are chasing is a feeling and for the most part that feeling can only be controlled by you and you alone. After all, when you acquire and/or achieve X there’s only a shinier, bigger, better object in the near future right?
That’s why I am so thankful for NLP, advancements in neuroscience and mindfulness. It’s our biggest protector against our own selves; that’s how smart we are!
With that said, I’m off to go on another urban hike through the city. Here’s to enjoying what is unfolding in each and every moment and being thankful for each and every breath we take.
In wellness,
Susan